King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Todd the Wise Assistants
Damon the Squire
Cathrine the Standard-Barer
Support Staff
Helen the Cook
Heccubus the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:timid
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Friarday, Rill 27th:
While Sir Todd the Wise travels in South Lelmiglet, he meets a hunched shopkeeper in a town. He tells Sir Todd of rumors that a destructive villain stalks the unwary around the plain of North-East Lelmiglet, 16 days ride away.

Sir Todd the Wise vows to rid the world of this malicious monstrosity.

Knick knack paddywack.
town plain plain
plain town plain
    Satyrday, Rill 28th to Moonsday, Rill 30th:
Sir Todd the Wise voyages to the north-east eventlessly through the plains of South-East Lelmiglet.

Did you ever see that movie "Spinal Tap"? Man, that movie was so funny. "These go to 11"! HA HA!
plain swamp plain plain
plain plain plain plain
town plain plain plain
    Twosday, Nay 1st:
Going north, Sir Todd the Wise comes upon a dirty bumpkin in a plain in South-East Lelmiglet.

Damon the Squire argues with him. The bumpkin argues back.


Until today, I had no idea what a "bumpkin" was. I thought it was some sort of malformed pumpkin. Well, live and learn.
plain plain plain
swamp plain plain
plain plain plain
    Wedday, Nay 2nd to Thorsday, Nay 3rd:
Sir Todd the Wise moves to the north peacefully through the plains of South-East Lelmiglet.

This trip really isn't all that exciting. No ninjas, no pirates, no dragons, nothing cool or interesting. I mean, I saw a rock that kind of <i>looked</i> like a dragon, but it didn't really do much. I should've stayed home to work on my book; "The Life & Times Of Pibby Q. Funkenheimer".
plain woods woods
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
swamp plain plain
    Friarday, Nay 4th:
Traveling north, Sir Todd meets a bear in a woods in East Lelmiglet. Sir Todd the Wise runs away from it!

Well, to be fair, the bear turned and ran too. It was really funny. It reminded me of that one part in that one...er...well, every episode of Scooby Doo where Scooby and Shaggy accidentally bump into each other and then both run away, thinking that they bumped the ghost/monster/murderer/kidnapper/amusement park curator.
woods woods woods
plain woods woods
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Nay 5th:
Sir Todd the Wise journeys to the north peacefully through a woods in East Lelmiglet

Todd is still kind of embarassed about the bear incident. He doesn't talk much, and sobs himself to sleep. I'm sure he'll be fine.
plain woods woods
woods woods woods
plain woods woods
    Sonday, Nay 6th:
Voyaging north, Sir Todd comes upon a wolf in a woods in East Lelmiglet.

Sir Todd isn't even slowed by the wolf. Sir Todd the Wise has decapitated the wolf!

As he removed its head, he cried "THIS IS FOR SENDING ME TO A PSYCHIATRIST!" I think he has a weird relationship with his dad or something. Either that, or that bear thing really got to him.
woods woods farm
plain woods woods
woods woods woods
    Moonsday, Nay 7th:
Moving north, Sir Todd comes upon a bear in a woods in East Lelmiglet. Sir Todd the Wise escapes from it!
In the melee, Damon the Squire is injured!


Todd just saw the bear and made tracks. I think it might've been the same bear. Anyway, Damon got all up in its face, so the bear took a swing. It missed, but in his effort to avoid the swing, Damon fell off of a cliff.
woods woods woods
woods woods farm
plain woods woods
    Twosday, Nay 8th:
Traveling north, Sir Todd meets a wolf in a woods in East Lelmiglet.

Sir Todd is unimpressed by the wolf. Sir Todd the Wise has decapitated the wolf!

This time, Todd just sort of swung his axe half-heartedly and happened to connect with the wolf's neck.
plain plain plain
woods woods woods
woods woods farm
    Wedday, Nay 9th to Thorsday, Nay 10th:
Sir Todd the Wise goes to the north confidently through the plains of North-East Lelmiglet.
Damon the Squire dies of his injuries!


He had a good run. I got his wallet before we buried him.
plain plain town
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
woods woods woods
    Friarday, Nay 11th:
Going north, Sir Todd comes upon a thug in a plain in North-East Lelmiglet.

Sir Todd proves far superior to the thug. Sir Todd the Wise has decapitated the thug!

That's somewhat innacurately phrased. Todd didn't really do much of anything. He just said "Oh to hell with it all!", threw his axe away, and it landed smack dab in the middle of the thug's forehead. Well, I felt bad for the guy, since he was in a lot of pain, so I lopped his head off and took his wallet.
plain plain plain
plain plain town
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Nay 12th:
Sir Todd the Wise rides to the north without incident through a plain in North-East Lelmiglet

That thug wasn't even carrying any money. Cheap bastard.
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
plain plain town
    Sonday, Nay 13th:
Sir Todd the Wise reaches the plain of North-East Lelmiglet and finds a malicious evil knight. Sir Todd the Wise runs away from him!

So now we're shamed. Great. Well at least I got some wallets out of the deal. That pretty much takes care of my Christmas shopping for next year. New wallets for all!
farm plain plain
plain plain plain

Basic TaleBard's Tales
Write a Bard's Tale
Shield DesignComments?
betatest my game, WyvernQuest
Back to: King Dwain   Polymorph
#7569