King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Kurt the Polite Assistants
Sparkle the Squire
Sooty the Blacksmith
Support Staff
Twinkle the Friar
Pumkin the Bard
Might:good
Skill:good
Cunning:average
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Moonsday, Octre 4th:
While Sir Kurt the Polite travels in Central Lahnek, he meets a skinny villager in a town. She tells Sir Kurt the story that a pernicious danger kills travelers around the farm of North-East Lahnek, 16 days ride away.

Sir Kurt the Polite makes an oath to best this dire wretch.

It had been a long time since i had any bardic work... in fact, I spent the last four years in the bottle, and got Shang-Hied onto this Dragon, and fell off in this village... laid there for a while... then an actual KNIGHT came and kicked me out of the filth I was wallowing in and said," Come, join us, the Muffin Friends, on our gay adventure." I agreed and was Dubbed "Pumkin"
woods woods woods
woods town woods
woods woods farm
    Twosday, Octre 5th:
Moving north, Sir Kurt the Polite encounters a crass peasant in a woods in Central Lahnek.

Twinkle the Friar talks to him. The peasant chats with Twinkle for a while.


The lyrical splendor we radiated as we made our way through the country-side was enough to catch the attention of the crassiest peasant in the music production business. He and Sparkle seemed like the best of friends, commenting on each other's earings and such. Those earings must have some sort of religeous meaning in this land, because everyone in The Muffin Friends has at least a dozen different sets of earings...
farm woods woods
woods woods woods
woods town woods
    Wedday, Octre 6th:
Traveling east, Sir Kurt encounters a wolf in a woods in Central Lahnek.

The wolf's strategy overcomes Sir Kurt, yet Sir Kurt's skill overwhelms the wolf's skill, and Sir Kurt's force outdoes the wolf's vigor. Sir Kurt the Polite has slain the wolf!

I think that there is something odd about my group... but i can't quite put my finger on it, Because when the wolf attacked us, they all said "Awwwwww, its soooo cute." I think that insulted it, or maybe it was Kurt's purple armour, but it attacked us even harder. so we killed it. After, Sparkle said that he could make the prittiest wolf-skin slippers for me...
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
town woods town
    Thorsday, Octre 7th:
Venturing north, Sir Kurt encounters a boar in a woods in Central Lahnek.

Sir Kurt far outclasses the boar. Sir Kurt the Polite has decapitated the boar!

While Sooty was re-painting the flower on Kurt's shield, Twinkle came out of the bush shreeking, "EEEK, A BIG FUZZY TEDDY IS TRYING TO CUDDLE ME TO DEATH!!" Sir Kurt was so excited at the posability of a giant teddy that he ran to cuddle IT. Unfortunatly, he forgot to drop his sword, so he accidentally impaled the poor bear. We had the funeral for poor Bartholomeau Bear that afternoon, and all of the other Muffin Friends were weeping...
farm farm farm
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Friarday, Octre 8th:
Rambling north, Sir Kurt the Polite meets a hunched peasant in a farm in Central Lahnek.

Twinkle the Friar introduces himself to him. The peasant shakes hands with Twinkle.


I think that Twinkle liked the hand shaking a little too much. After that i conversed with the peasant like this:
P:"I think that your friends are gay."
M:"I know, they sure are happy."
P:"No, I mean they're REALLY gay!"
M:"Not following you."
P:"Gay, They're gay."
M:"Still dont Know what your talking about."
It went on like that for a couple hours. Still dont know what he was talking about.
farm plain plain
farm farm farm
woods woods woods
    Satyrday, Octre 9th:
Journeying east, Sir Kurt encounters a bandit in a farm in Central Lahnek.

The bandit's cleverness overwhelms Sir Kurt...however Sir Kurt's energy is superior to the bandit; moreover Sir Kurt's skill overcomes the bandit's grace. Sir Kurt the Polite has defeated the bandit!

That Bandit must have been crazy, because he called us all cigarettes, "You fags, gimme all yer silva." I saw a change in Kurt's eyes... the battle was greusome with lots of "OWIEOWIEOWIE" and "TAKE THAT YOU RASCAL YOU". Sparkle, Twinkle and Sooty all added the odd slap, which drove the Bandit away.
plain plain mountains
farm farm woods
woods woods woods
    Sonday, Octre 10th to Moonsday, Octre 11th:
Sir Kurt the Polite travels to the east without incident, from a plain in North Lahnek to a mountains in North Lahnek.

It takes a while for alcohol withdrawl to take effect, but when it does, it's hell. i've been scrounging in the others' packs for a while and all i found was mouth-wash, a flag that says PRIDE, and some small colourful club-like objects. i think that the Muffin Friends are... door-to-door salesmen selling these objects.
plain plain plain plain
plain plain mountains woods
farm farm woods woods
    Twosday, Octre 12th:
Riding north, Sir Kurt confronts a thug in a plain in North Lahnek.

The thug's wisdom outdoes Sir Kurt, yet Sir Kurt's power overwhelms the thug, and Sir Kurt's skill is superior to the thug. Sir Kurt the Polite has slain the thug!

We were all baking muffins and this hobo came out of the grass and asked what that disgusting stink was. Kurt flew across the camp and choked him to death. He loves his muffins. Though i think he overreacted, i guess he had his reasons...
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
plain mountains woods
    Wedday, Octre 13th to Satyrday, Octre 16th:
Sir Kurt the Polite voyages to the north-east without incident through the plains of North-East Lahnek.

For three days, all we did was Patty-Cake, I think these blokes are a little too happy for my tastes...
plain farm plain plain
plain plain plain plain
plain plain plain plain
plain plain plain plain
mountains woods plain town
    Sonday, Octre 17th:
Rambling north, Sir Kurt the Polite meets an attractive peasant in a plain in North-East Lahnek.

Sparkle the Squire introduces himself to him. The peasant shakes hands with Sparkle.


I think that these fellows have worped me, i mean, I found that peasant attractive... it was a HE!!!! i need a woman NOW.
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
    Moonsday, Octre 18th to Twosday, Octre 19th:
Sir Kurt the Polite treks to the east without incident through the plains of North-East Lahnek.

I told the fellows my problem, and they told me that i'd get used to it, and Sooty thinks that maybe he could make me a nice Lyre to play for our gay band...
plain plain plain farm
plain plain plain plain
    Wedday, Octre 20th:
Sir Kurt the Polite reaches the farm of North-East Lahnek and finds a harmful injured animal.

Sir Kurt's nimbleness is equal to the injured animal's skill, and the injured animal's artifice is countered by Sir Kurt, in contrast Sir Kurt's strength is superior to the injured animal. Sir Kurt the Polite has defeated the injured animal!


That skinny peasant must have tried to kill the animal by himself, beacause when we found it, it had a spear in it's chest and some cloth in it's teeth. We finished it of and are now going back to the PRIDE base. i hope ther are girls there because I am starting to feel VERY VERY uncomfortable with the Muffin Friends, and they're lack of personal comfort zones. And, I still don't Know what that peasant was getting at...
plain farm
plain plain

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