King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Patrick the Fierce Assistants
David the Squire
Emily the Standard-Barer
Cyril the Juggler
Support Staff
Lefticus the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Satyrday, Januar 27th:
While Sir Patrick the Fierce travels in West Hiklet, he meets a lewd peasant in a farm. He tells Sir Patrick about suspicions that a harmful peril preys upon the unlucky close to the plain of South-East Hiklet, 17 days ride away.

Sir Patrick the Fierce makes an oath to slay this ruinous beast.

The peasant had turnips in his nose. Cyril tried juggling these nose-turnips, to no avail.

David is happy for this opportunity to prove his mettle. Sir Patrick the Fierce is only interested in an opportunity to prove his metal. Axe. Um, that his metal axe is sharp. He's a fierce one.
woods woods
farm woods
woods woods
    Sonday, Januar 28th:
Going east, Sir Patrick comes upon a wolf in a woods in West Hiklet.

Sir Patrick's nimbleness find no weakness in the wolf--yet Sir Patrick's strength is too great for the wolf, and Sir Patrick's wiliness is superior to the wolf. Sir Patrick the Fierce has slain the wolf!

Emily is putting the wolf-skin on our standard. Until now, our standard was the same uninspiring bluish blotch on a mauve background. Now it has a fierce looking wolf pelt on it. You can tell we're a force to be reckoned with!

Cyril's nose-turnip-juggling is improving.
woods woods woods
farm woods woods
woods woods plain
    Moonsday, Januar 29th:
Journeying east, Sir Patrick comes upon a bear in a woods in West Hiklet.

The bear's might is superior to Sir Patrick; nevertheless Sir Patrick's swiftness is too great for the bear--and Sir Patrick's cunning overcomes the bear. Sir Patrick the Fierce has slain the bear!

Holy crap, Sir Patrick just killed a FRIGGIN' BEAR! His blood-lust can not be sated.

David the Squire has proved his mettle is sort of weak; he cowered behind the horses, then poked the dead bear with a stick. Then he started to cry.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods plain woods
    Twosday, Januar 30th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce moves to the south confidently through a plain in West Hiklet

Cyril's juggling has failed to staunch David's quiet sobbing. We're unsure that David should be in the business of killing things.

Emily ran up to show us the new bear-pelt-hung standard, but we signaled for her to get it out of sight before David saw it.
woods woods woods
woods plain woods
woods woods woods
    Wedday, Febuar 1st:
Moving south, Sir Patrick encounters a wolf in a woods in West Hiklet.

Sir Patrick far outclasses the wolf. Sir Patrick the Fierce has decapitated the wolf!

The wolf lost its head; David lost his lunch.
woods plain woods
woods woods woods
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Febuar 2nd:
Sir Patrick the Fierce rides to the east quickly through a woods in West Hiklet

Cyril has started juggling sticks and apples. He hopes to replenish his supply of juggling turnips in the nearby town.

David has used our entire journey's supply of kleenex...what happens when we hit cold/flu season? Sir Patrick is fiercely considering getting a new squire.
plain woods woods
woods woods farm
plain plain town
    Friarday, Febuar 3rd:
Trekking east, Sir Patrick the Fierce meets a tall cleric in a farm in West Hiklet.

David the Squire talks to him. The cleric chats with David for a while.


The cleric told David that bears don't really have souls, so it's okay if he kills them. We're unsure how David took this news, but the squire was so tall that he's probably right.
woods woods plain
woods farm plain
plain town plain
    Satyrday, Febuar 4th:
Venturing south, Sir Patrick the Fierce encounters a buxom villager in a town in South-West Hiklet.

Emily the Standard-Barer introduces herself to her. The villager shakes hands with Emily.


Cyril, David & Sir Patrick were embarrassed that the well-endowed villager would think them unsophisticated yokels. Emily did our group proud by showing off her big-city knowledge of wolf-knit fashion.
woods farm plain
plain town plain
plain town plain
    Sonday, Febuar 5th:
Voyaging east, Sir Patrick the Fierce runs into a stout merchant in a plain in South Hiklet.

Emily the Standard-Barer shares stories with him. The merchant gossips about his friends.


We've made Emily our official group greeter/public relations specialist. David is happy that we're exchanging words, not violence, with the things we encounter, but Sir Patrick wants to kill stuff.
farm plain plain
town plain swamp
town plain plain
    Moonsday, Febuar 6th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce voyages to the east without incident through a swamp in South Hiklet

Cyril is juggling toads. This gave David the sniffles. Emily is steering clear of Cyril, as she fears warts.

Sir Patrick tried to kill a tree with his axe, but it took a little too long.
plain plain plain
plain swamp plain
plain plain farm
    Twosday, Febuar 7th:
Voyaging east, Sir Patrick confronts a thug in a plain in South Hiklet.

Sir Patrick the Fierce combats the thug to a deadlock--and then The thug's wisdom outdoes Sir Patrick, yet Sir Patrick's energy is too great for the thug; and Sir Patrick's skill is superior to the thug. Sir Patrick the Fierce has defeated the thug!
In the melee, Emily the Standard-Barer is injured!


Emily, ever the out-going individual, was taken in by the thug's clever rouse, and got stabbed in her handshaking hand. Sir Patrick then clobbered the thug with an axe.

David feels morally happier that we let the opponent draw first-blood. Emily is nonplussed.
plain plain woods
swamp plain plain
plain farm plain
    Wedday, Febuar 8th to Thorsday, Febuar 9th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce ventures to the east confidently, from a plain in South Hiklet to a woods in South Hiklet.

Cyril is trying to keep Emily amused by scaring David with animal pelts. It makes Sir Patrick giggle hysterically.
plain woods town farm
plain plain woods town
farm plain plain plain
    Friarday, Febuar 10th:
Trekking east, Sir Patrick the Fierce encounters a blonde villager in a town in South-East Hiklet.

Cyril the Juggler dances with her. The villager slaps Cyril.


As morale officer, Cyril is our group's new public face.

After his first attempt to mingle, our new public face has a big red hand-print on it.
town farm plain
woods town plain
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Febuar 11th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce travels to the east without incident through a plain in South-East Hiklet
Emily the Standard-Barer dies of her injuries!


Cyril thinks Emily really died of embarrassment, at his botched pick-up attempt on the blonde back in town.

After a good long cry, David composed a sensitive, lyrical eulogy. He rhymed "standard bearer" with "panda bear fur."
farm plain woods
town plain plain
plain plain plain
    Sonday, Febuar 12th:
Trekking east, Sir Patrick meets a bandit in a plain in South-East Hiklet.

Sir Patrick far outclasses the bandit. Sir Patrick the Fierce has decapitated the bandit!

Sir Patrick has seen too much killing. He decapitated this bandit with his eyes closed.
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Moonsday, Febuar 13th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce journeys to the east quickly through a plain in South-East Hiklet

Sir Patrick tires of this journey, so we're travelling at quite a clip. Perhaps he thinks wistful thoughts of Emily's brilliant social networking skills, and handsome bowl-cut?

Cyril bets diamonds to donuts that it's because he has a sniffling sissified fellow as his squire. Hey...I wonder if you could have a diamond-filled donut?
woods plain plain
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Twosday, Febuar 14th:
Sir Patrick the Fierce reaches the plain of South-East Hiklet and finds a deadly bandit.

Sir Patrick's strength matches the bandit; yet Sir Patrick's artifice overcomes the bandit, moreover Sir Patrick's agility is too great for the bandit. Sir Patrick the Fierce has slain the bandit!


David composed a eulogy for the slain bandit. He was pretty deadly, but David feels everyone deserves a fair shake. Sir Patrick shook hands with David, then fired him, & then Sir Patrick the fierce rode off into the sunset, looking for new things to hit with his axe.

David and Cyril are building up material for a vaudeville act. We've found that ventriloquist dummies cause David to shriek in fear.
plain plain
plain plain
plain plain

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