King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Harold the Rugged Assistants
Andrew the Squire
Nicholas the Wise Man
Support Staff
Marcus the Friar
Lefticus the Bard
Might:good
Skill:good
Cunning:average
Bravery:timid
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Satyrday, Septre 18th:
While Sir Harold the Rugged travels in West Kinrokton, he meets a tall bumpkin in a farm. He tells Sir Harold of rumors that a malicious wretch preys upon the unlucky in the plain of South-East Kinrokton, 18 days ride away.

Sir Harold the Rugged vows to best this vile monstrosity.

Andrew is excited about the quest. Sir Harold, while rugged, isn't always so keen on fightin' and killin' and stuff; Nicholas would have us remember that while Sir Harold's shield has a lion on it, it is a YELLOW lion.

Marcus signed up for this quest accidentally; he meant to write "fry-er", one who fries things. He certainly enjoys grease-boiled potato chunks.
town woods plain
river farm river
woods woods woods
    Sonday, Septre 19th:
Sir Harold the Rugged journeys to the east confidently through a river in West Kinrokton

Andrew tried to hunt down any threats in the river by using that ninja-breathing-straw hiding technique. Marcus caught a big ol' catfish and batter-fried it for dinner. Yummers!
woods plain woods
farm river woods
woods woods woods
    Moonsday, Septre 20th:
Moving east, Sir Harold meets a wolf in a woods in West Kinrokton.

The wolf's speed overcomes Sir Harold's skill, but Sir Harold's cunning is superior to the wolf; and Sir Harold's hardiness is too great for the wolf. Sir Harold the Rugged has slain the wolf!
In the melee, Andrew the Squire is injured!


Andrew's combat gusto manifested itself in his attempt to hit the wolf with an unarmed flying tackle. The wolf's teeth proved to be more dangerous than Andrew's. Nicholas said that "Pride cometh before a fall," though in this case, one should replace "pride" with "a crazy sprint and goofy battle-cry."
plain woods woods
river woods woods
woods woods woods
    Twosday, Septre 21st to Thorsday, Septre 23rd:
Sir Harold the Rugged rambles to the south-east without incident, from a woods in West Kinrokton to a plain in Central Kinrokton.
Andrew the Squire feels better!


Barbecued wolf, as prepared by Marcus, was enough medicine for Andrew! He says he feels like a million bucks. Nicholas was like, "yeah, a million bucks...worth of STUPID!"
river woods woods woods
woods woods woods woods
woods woods plain woods
woods town farm woods
    Friarday, Septre 24th:
Journeying south, Sir Harold the Rugged meets an ancient traveler in a farm in Central Kinrokton.

Marcus the Friar introduces himself to him. The traveler shakes hands with Marcus.


Marcus got all excited because he thought the traveler was the legendary Gus Stewpot, mercenary cook extraordinaire. It turned out it was just some guy named Phil.
woods plain woods
town farm woods
castle plain plain
    Satyrday, Septre 25th:
Sir Harold the Rugged rides to the south without incident through a plain in South Kinrokton

"Stupid Gus Stewpot, always turning out to be some guy named Phil." Marcus's muttering would be interesting to keep up with, were it not for his horrible breath.
town farm woods
castle plain plain
farm plain farm
    Sonday, Septre 26th:
Journeying east, Sir Harold the Rugged encounters a brown-haired merchant in a plain in South Kinrokton.

Marcus the Friar shoves him. The merchant runs away.


This guy comes up to Marcus and says, "Hi, my name is Gus Ste--" and Marcus pushes him and keeps walking.
Nicholas said "When it comes to frying, I guess Marcus is once bitten, twice shy." Andrew punched Nicholas in the head, and the rest of us smiled behind our hands.
farm woods woods
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
    Moonsday, Septre 27th:
Trekking south, Sir Harold the Rugged meets a beautiful peasant in a farm in South Kinrokton.

Andrew the Squire flirts with her. The peasant blushes.


Andrew told her about how he slew a wolf with his bare hands. She thought he was the bee's knees. Awww, how cute!
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
town plain plain
    Twosday, Septre 28th to Thorsday, Septre 30th:
Sir Harold the Rugged treks to the south-east without incident through the plains of South Kinrokton.

Andrew's started singing whinsome love songs. Marcus is deep-frying a gopher for dinner tonight. Nicholas hasn't said anything for a few days, and Sir Harold has yet to chicken out. Life is good.
plain plain plain plain
farm plain swamp woods
plain plain plain plain
plain plain plain plain
    Friarday, Octre 1st:
Traveling east, Sir Harold the Rugged comes upon a conniving traveler in a plain in South Kinrokton.

Andrew the Squire shares stories with him. The traveler gossips about his friends.


The traveler wanted to scam us into buying some real estate in North-Western Zinorthok. Fortunately, Andrew got there first and bored him about his ninja-straw-breathing skills.
swamp woods woods
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Octre 2nd:
Traveling east, Sir Harold comes upon a thug in a plain in South-East Kinrokton.

Sir Harold's speed overcomes the thug, but the thug's energy overwhelms Sir Harold's might; and the thug's ruse outdoes Sir Harold. Sir Harold the Rugged has been defeated by the thug!
In the melee, Andrew the Squire is slain!


Aaaaah! Backstabbed in the height of his achievement by a fiendish miscreant! Sir Harold blames himself. Nicholas probably could think of something clever to say, but he's keeping it to himself. Marcus is so upset, he can barely toast the voles we're having for dinner.
woods woods farm
plain plain swamp
plain plain river
    Sonday, Octre 3rd:
Sir Harold the Rugged rests in a plain in South-East Kinrokton.

We buried Andrew in a tasteful grave, with a ninja breathing straw as part of the marker. Nicholas said a few words ("patchwork", "hasenpfeffer" and "gravel"), and then we barbecued a pig in Andrew's honor.
woods woods farm
plain plain swamp
plain plain river
    Moonsday, Octre 4th:
Moving east, Sir Harold encounters a snake in a swamp in South-East Kinrokton. Sir Harold the Rugged retreats from it!

Sir Harold's way gun-shy now. Nicholas thinks he needs something to regain his confidence. Marcus is trying to find ingredients for his Super-Pep Chili, which (he claims) should put the fight into anyone.
woods farm plain
plain swamp farm
plain river plain
    Twosday, Octre 5th:
Sir Harold the Rugged ventures to the east confidently through a farm in South-East Kinrokton

Marcus bought 5 pounds of chili beans. I fear Super-Pep may be in our future.
farm plain plain
swamp farm woods
river plain swamp
    Wedday, Octre 6th:
Rambling east, Sir Harold comes upon a wolf in a woods in South-East Kinrokton.

Sir Harold's sagacity is countered by the wolf, in contrast Sir Harold's nimbleness is too great for the wolf's dexterity--and Sir Harold's toughness is superior to the wolf. Sir Harold the Rugged has slain the wolf!

After a hardy lunch of Marcus's chili, there is no wolf in the land that could stand against Sir Harold's toughness!
plain plain plain
farm woods plain
plain swamp plain
    Thorsday, Octre 7th:
Sir Harold the Rugged reaches the plain of South-East Kinrokton and finds a baneful bandit.

The bandit's wiliness overwhelms Sir Harold; however Sir Harold's muscle is too great for the bandit; and Sir Harold's skill is superior to the bandit. Sir Harold the Rugged has slain the bandit!


Sir Harold has become a chili-powder-powered dynamo! Unstoppable in combat, regular in everything else! Andrew would be proud.

Now we just have to go and break the news of Andrew's death to his once and future date back at that farm.
plain plain
woods plain
swamp plain

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