King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Anthony the Sturdy Assistants
Dieter the Squire
Peter the Sage
Support Staff
Ada the Guide
Lefticus the Bard
Might:good
Skill:average
Cunning:good
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Moonsday, Novre 16th:
While Sir Anthony the Sturdy travels in North Lonshire, he meets a bulky villager in a town. He tells Sir Anthony about suspicions that a hateful wretch lurks around the plain of South Lonshire, 15 days ride away.

Sir Anthony the Sturdy binds himself to overthrow this lurking danger.

Dieter and Peter are brothers, Ada is a palindrome, and Sir Anthony has a florescent puce sash! If that's not a recipe for wackiness, I don't know what one is...but then again, I'm not a very good cook.
woods town woods
woods town woods
river woods woods
    Twosday, Novre 17th:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy journeys to the south confidently through a woods in North Lonshire

Dieter and Peter get on everyone's nerves, because half of their conversations go "Hey, remember that time..." "Oh, yeah! That was great!" Let us in on the story, damn your eye-teeth!
woods town woods
river woods woods
woods woods farm
    Wedday, Novre 18th:
Voyaging south, Sir Anthony the Sturdy confronts a short woodsman in a woods in North Lonshire.

Dieter the Squire argues with him. The woodsman argues back.


Dieter thought the short woodsman was cutting too low on the tree to get optimum topple-age. The woodsman objected to being told to chop trees while standing on a couple of phone books. Ada said "radar."
river woods woods
woods woods farm
woods woods woods
    Thorsday, Novre 19th:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy rides to the east confidently through a farm in North Lonshire

Ada's thoughts on how to prepare beef: "woc a cow."
woods woods town
woods farm woods
woods woods woods
    Friarday, Novre 20th:
Trekking south, Sir Anthony the Sturdy encounters a black-haired peasant in a woods in North Lonshire.

Ada the Guide boasts to her. The peasant gasps.


The peasant asked Ada what she did for a living, so Ada said "e-laser resale." It sounded pretty impressive.
woods farm woods
woods woods woods
swamp swamp river
    Satyrday, Novre 21st:
Trekking east, Sir Anthony the Sturdy meets a lithe traveler in a woods in North Lonshire.

Ada the Guide talks shop with her. The traveler tells Ada about being a traveler.


Ada seems to have this other-worldly air, what with her strange manner of speaking. Either that or all the women are frightened by Dieter and Peter's sentence-fragment banter.
farm woods plain
woods woods woods
swamp river swamp
    Sonday, Novre 22nd:
Moving south, Sir Anthony meets a bandit in a river in Central Lonshire.

The bandit's grace outdoes Sir Anthony, however Sir Anthony's cleverness is superior to the bandit, and Sir Anthony's hardiness overcomes the bandit. Sir Anthony the Sturdy has defeated the bandit!

While Sir Anthony blinded the bandit with his sash, Dieter and Peter tripped the miscreant with a length of rope.
woods woods woods
swamp river swamp
swamp swamp swamp
    Moonsday, Novre 23rd to Wedday, Novre 25th:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy journeys to the south eventlessly through the swamps of Central Lonshire.

Sir Anthony asked Ada how much longer we had to ride through these marshy lands. She said "swamps--I'll lisp: maws!" Huh.
swamp river swamp
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp farm
swamp swamp swamp
    Thorsday, Novre 26th:
Moving south, Sir Anthony the Sturdy meets a handsome traveler in a swamp in Central Lonshire.

Ada the Guide argues with him. The traveler argues back.


The traveler road up to Ada and said "day fine this on going you are where?" Ada was peeved. Funny, I would have thought they would have gotten along swimmingly.
swamp swamp farm
swamp swamp swamp
plain swamp plain
    Friarday, Novre 27th:
Voyaging south, Sir Anthony the Sturdy encounters an elderly bumpkin in a swamp in South Lonshire.

Ada the Guide shares stories with him. The bumpkin tells a dirty limerick.


The bumpkin mistook Ada's speech pattern for verse, so we all got to hear about the zany exploits of various residents of the city of Enis.
swamp swamp swamp
plain swamp plain
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Novre 28th to Moonsday, Novre 30th:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy travels to the south confidently through the plains of South Lonshire.

Dieter put a piece of bread on the ground on Satyrday, and Peter put another one down on Moonsday, and then they said they'd made the world's first a mountain sandwich. Even Ada is beginning to get disturbed by their behavior.
plain swamp plain
plain plain plain
plain mountains plain
plain plain river
plain plain plain
    Twosday, Decre 1st:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy reaches the plain of South Lonshire and finds a dangerous lion.

Sir Anthony's toughness overcomes the lion, and Sir Anthony's cunning find no weakness in the lion's resourcefulness; but the lion's quickness is too great for Sir Anthony. Sir Anthony the Sturdy has been wounded by the lion!
In the melee, Peter the Sage is injured!


Holy figs! That was one vicious lion. Moreover, Dieter is worried sick over his injured sybling. Sir Anthony's festive sash is now slightly less bright, due to spilt blood.

Ada: "racecar!"
plain plain river
plain plain plain
    Wedday, Decre 2nd:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy's injuries turn septic!

Oh dear. If we see that lion again, we'll have to tell him about cleaning under his finger nails.
plain plain river
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Decre 3rd:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy's injuries take a turn for the worse.

It keeps getting worse! Ada declares "ale mugs, Gumela!" Dieter thinks Peter might know who this 'Gumela' is, but Peter is too hurt to think clearly.
plain plain river
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Decre 4th:
Sir Anthony the Sturdy dies of his injuries!

R.I.P. Sir Anthony the Sturdy

Peter the Sage feels better!


Oh no! Poor Sir Anthony. We shall always remember his snappy fashion sense.

In the 'positive' column, Peter the Sage was saved by consuming three mugs of ale. Dieter gives thanks to Gumela.
plain plain river
plain plain plain

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