King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Chester the Brave Assistants
Ass Face the Squire
When it comes to testicles, this guy is the Juggler
Support Staff
Blasphemous Bill the Friar
Reader the writer the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Moonsday, Novre 9th:
While Sir Chester the Brave travels in South-West Mynhoglan, he meets an old peasant in a farm. She tells Sir Chester of rumors that a ruinous villain lives near the plain of North-East Mynhoglan, 23 days ride away.

Sir Chester the Brave swears to eradicate this baneful fiend.

In his mind he reseloves to make this a labour of testicle love.
swamp swamp swamp
swamp farm swamp
swamp swamp swamp
    Twosday, Novre 10th:
Traveling east, Sir Chester encounters a snake in a swamp in South-West Mynhoglan.

The snake's energy outdoes Sir Chester, but Sir Chester's grace overwhelms the snake, and Sir Chester's sagacity overcomes the snake. Sir Chester the Brave has slain the snake!

Chester confides in his testicles after the squabble about the merits of his inherant fairiness. Had there been a second party in his midst, however, he would have been stigmatized and never able to be seen by the eyes of puritan pukes like that of the villagers.
swamp swamp swamp
farm swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp
    Wedday, Novre 11th to Thorsday, Novre 12th:
Sir Chester the Brave rambles to the north eventlessly through the swamps of South-West Mynhoglan.

Chester takes advantage of the free time to contemplate his testicles.
swamp plain plain
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp
farm swamp swamp
    Friarday, Novre 13th:
Going east, Sir Chester runs into a snake in a swamp in South-West Mynhoglan.

Sir Chester isn't even slowed by the snake. Sir Chester the Brave has slain the snake!

Feel the wrath of my INFLATING TESTES!!!
plain plain plain
swamp swamp mountains
swamp swamp farm
    Satyrday, Novre 14th to Moonsday, Novre 16th:
Sir Chester the Brave moves to the north-east without incident, from a mountains in South Mynhoglan to a swamp in Central Mynhoglan.

I'm so sick of this. I'm going to commit suicide.
plain plain plain plain
plain plain swamp plain
swamp mountains mountains mountains
swamp farm mountains mountains
    Twosday, Novre 17th:
Riding north, Sir Chester comes upon a thug in a plain in Central Mynhoglan.

The thug's energy can not overcome Sir Chester, but Sir Chester's swiftness is too great for the thug--and Sir Chester's strategy overwhelms the thug. Sir Chester the Brave has slain the thug!

What that brief synopsis DIDN'T metion is that the TESTICLES of each party were the ones involved in the fight. All other actions remain valid.
plain farm plain
plain plain plain
plain swamp plain
    Wedday, Novre 18th:
Sir Chester the Brave goes to the east peacefully through a plain in Central Mynhoglan

What the ____ is up with this crock-of-____ quest?
Chester goes into convulsions and begins speaking in tongues. How drab, he thinks.
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
swamp plain plain
    Thorsday, Novre 19th:
Moving east, Sir Chester the Brave meets a gaunt traveler in a plain in Central Mynhoglan.

Ass Face the Squire talks to him. The traveler chats with Ass Face for a while.


Chester declares, "Only those who fondle my scrotum are worthy enough to confer with ME!!!"

the Squire takes a vow of silence.
plain plain plain
plain plain farm
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Novre 20th to Satyrday, Novre 21st:
Sir Chester the Brave journeys to the north confidently through the plains of Central Mynhoglan.

Chester's food supplies run out and he is forced to consider breaking ooen one of his testicles like a coconut and feasting on the gooey gooey insides. His mind sporadically changes the subject to deliberating his favorite Prince album.
swamp plain plain
plain plain woods
plain plain plain
plain plain farm
    Sonday, Novre 22nd:
Moving north, Sir Chester comes upon a thug in a plain in Central Mynhoglan.

Sir Chester proves far superior to the thug. Sir Chester the Brave has decapitated the thug!

There's no justice like dirty rotten TESTICLE JUSTICE.
mountains mountains mountains
swamp plain plain
plain plain woods
    Moonsday, Novre 23rd to Twosday, Novre 24th:
Sir Chester the Brave ventures to the east quickly, from a plain in Central Mynhoglan to a plain in East Mynhoglan.

...PUTTIN" ON THE RITTTTZZZZZ
mountains mountains farm plain
plain plain plain plain
plain woods plain plain
    Wedday, Novre 25th:
Venturing north, Sir Chester the Brave confronts a hunched peasant in a farm in North-East Mynhoglan.

Blasphemous Bill the Friar talks to him. The peasant chats with Blasphemous Bill for a while.


Chester seduces the abstainant Friar with his delectable testicles. The Friar's head explodes, thereby goes the grace of God.
mountains plain plain
mountains farm plain
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Novre 26th:
Sir Chester the Brave moves to the north quickly through a plain in North-East Mynhoglan

What am I doing here again?
mountains plain plain
mountains plain plain
mountains farm plain
    Friarday, Novre 27th:
Journeying east, Sir Chester the Brave encounters an ugly traveler in a plain in North-East Mynhoglan.

Blasphemous Bill the Friar talks shop with him. The traveler tells Blasphemous Bill about being a traveler.


Chester wonders why the headless Friar is able to remain motorized. He then realizes that a headless person is perfect fodder for the traveler's vacuous banter.
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
farm plain plain
    Satyrday, Novre 28th to Sonday, Novre 29th:
Sir Chester the Brave ventures to the north eventlessly, from a plain in North-East Mynhoglan to a swamp in North-East Mynhoglan.

testicles
town plain farm
plain swamp plain
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Moonsday, Novre 30th:
Voyaging east, Sir Chester the Brave confronts a lively traveler in a plain in North-East Mynhoglan.

When it comes to testicles, this guy is the Juggler introduces himself to him. The traveler shakes hands with When it comes to testicles, this guy is.


When we say HANDS we mean... well... you know what we mean
They become good friends.
plain farm plain
swamp plain woods
plain plain plain
    Twosday, Decre 1st:
Sir Chester the Brave rides to the east without incident through a woods in North-East Mynhoglan

kjhgkjh
farm plain plain
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
    Wedday, Decre 2nd:
Sir Chester the Brave reaches the plain of North-East Mynhoglan and finds a noxious boar.

The boar's speed is too great for Sir Chester--but Sir Chester's energy overwhelms the boar's power...and Sir Chester's cleverness is superior to the boar. Sir Chester the Brave has slain the boar!


and so ends this dumbass tale.
...and the moral of the story is: er...something about the virtues of testicles.
farm plain plain
plain woods plain

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