King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Seth the Valiant Assistants
Otis Spunkmeyer the Squire
Daniel Pithingsworth the Sage
Support Staff
Nate The Great the Apothecary
Heccubus the Bard
Might:good
Skill:average
Cunning:good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Thorsday, Rill 26th:
While Sir Seth the Valiant travels in North-East Gunhyrlen, he meets a tiny villager in a town. He tells Sir Seth of rumors that a deadly brute kills travelers close to the swamp of West Gunhyrlen, 20 days ride away.

Sir Seth the Valiant vows to execute this baneful hazard.

What more can I say? We will, what's the phrase? Get all up in his business.
woods town woods
woods woods farm
    Friarday, Rill 27th:
Riding west, Sir Seth encounters a bear in a woods in North-East Gunhyrlen.

The bear's might overwhelms Sir Seth; in contrast Sir Seth's skill overcomes the bear, furthermore Sir Seth's craftiness is superior to the bear. Sir Seth the Valiant has defeated the bear!
In the melee, Otis Spunkmeyer the Squire is injured!


Otis didn't even notice the wounds until Nate The Great pointed them out. Then he screams like a little girl and pleads for a shot of morphine. Realizing we have none, Seth clocks him on the noggin with a rock. No one really likes Seth.
woods woods town
woods woods woods
    Satyrday, Rill 28th:
Riding south, Sir Seth the Valiant comes upon a good looking peasant in a woods in North-East Gunhyrlen.

Daniel Pithingsworth the Sage talks to him. The peasant chats with Daniel Pithingsworth for a while.

Otis Spunkmeyer the Squire feels better!


Otis Spunkmeyer's wounds healed over rather nicely thanks to some chamomile tea that the peasant gave us. What a nice fellow. Seth threw a rock at him though.
woods woods town
woods woods woods
woods woods plain
    Sonday, Rill 29th:
Sir Seth the Valiant ventures to the west eventlessly through a woods in North-East Gunhyrlen

Gathering rocks along the way, Seth sang sons about throwing rocks at people. Otis Spunkmeyer, Daniel Pithingsworth, Nate The Great, and myself stay far behind him and talk about our favourite Mortal Kombat fatalities.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
plain woods woods
    Moonsday, Rill 30th:
Going west, Sir Seth meets a boar in a woods in North-East Gunhyrlen.

Sir Seth's skill find no weakness in the boar's quickness, in contrast Sir Seth's energy outdoes the boar; furthermore Sir Seth's sagacity is superior to the boar. Sir Seth the Valiant has slain the boar!

We all feast upon boar. I find a rock lodged in the meat of my serving. I hate Seth.
swamp woods woods
swamp woods woods
swamp plain woods
    Twosday, Nay 1st:
Trekking west, Sir Seth comes upon a snake in a swamp in North Gunhyrlen.

The snake's speed overwhelms Sir Seth, but Sir Seth's strength overcomes the snake; and Sir Seth's strategy is too great for the snake. Sir Seth the Valiant has defeated the snake!
In the melee, Daniel Pithingsworth the Sage is injured!


Daniel Pithingsworth was struck by one of Seth's misguided rocks. He has horrible aim. Actually, the snake fell off a cliff, Seth didn't even come close to hitting it.
swamp swamp woods
swamp swamp woods
swamp swamp plain
    Wedday, Nay 2nd to Wedday, Nay 9th:
Sir Seth the Valiant rambles to the south-west quickly, from a swamp in North Gunhyrlen to a plain in Central Gunhyrlen.
Daniel Pithingsworth the Sage feels better!


Daniel Pithingsworth recovers by doing a million jumping jacks to the tune of "Let's Get Physical". All are relieved. Seth gathers more rocks.
swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp
farm swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp plain swamp swamp swamp
woods swamp swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp plain plain swamp plain plain
swamp plain plain plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Nay 10th:
Journeying west, Sir Seth encounters a bandit in a swamp in West Gunhyrlen.

The bandit's grace is too great for Sir Seth; yet Sir Seth's vigor outdoes the bandit, and Sir Seth's sagacity overwhelms the bandit. Sir Seth the Valiant has defeated the bandit!

To quote the bandit: "AH! OUCH! THAT HURTS! STOP THROWING ROCKS! HONESTLY, WHO THROWS ROCKS?"
No one likes Seth. At all. Ever.
swamp woods swamp
swamp swamp plain
swamp swamp plain
    Friarday, Nay 11th to Satyrday, Nay 12th:
Sir Seth the Valiant travels to the south confidently through the swamps of West Gunhyrlen.

Seth isn't as confident on the latter half of the trek, he trips on a rock and splits his shorts. The rocks he once loved have turned against him.
swamp swamp plain
swamp swamp plain
swamp swamp plain
swamp plain plain
    Sonday, Nay 13th:
Riding west, Sir Seth the Valiant meets a graceful traveler in a swamp in West Gunhyrlen.

Nate The Great the Apothecary shoves him. The traveler runs away.


Nate The Great is not about to take any guff from some lousy traveller. While the traveller flees, however, Seth throws a rock at him. He misses, but the traveller throws it back. Long story short, Seth can't walk now.
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp plain
    Moonsday, Nay 14th to Twosday, Nay 15th:
Sir Seth the Valiant rides to the west confidently through the swamps of West Gunhyrlen.

Seth's legs are broken so badly that when he sits on his horse, he has to have both legs on one side. We spend our time poking his open sores with sticks.
swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp plain
swamp swamp swamp farm
    Wedday, Nay 16th:
Sir Seth the Valiant reaches the swamp of West Gunhyrlen and finds a fell snake.

Sir Seth's quickness find no weakness in the snake, yet Sir Seth's vigor is superior to the snake--and Sir Seth's cunning is too great for the snake's sagacity. Sir Seth the Valiant has slain the snake!


Actually, killing the snake was accidental. He fell off his horse and landed directly on it, crushing it's snakey little skull into a billion pieces.

Seth went on to found the first chapter of Crippled Knights of the Round Table and is currently married to a legless princess from Galdimor.

Daniel Pithingsworth is currently in therapy for sex addiction.

Otis Spunkmeyer went on to build one of the largest cookie empires in the world, and currently supplies cookies for starving children in Africa

Nate The Great wrote several short stories about child detectives who travel through time before killing himself by electrocution in 1989. He will be missed by all.
swamp swamp swamp
farm swamp swamp
swamp swamp swamp

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