King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Gerald the Courteous Assistants
Teensy the Squire
Marie the Juggler
Support Staff
Spoonie the Friar
Titmouse the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Satyrday, Septre 25th:
While Sir Gerald the Courteous travels in South Olenlollun, he meets a black-haired peasant in a farm. She tells Sir Gerald the story that a mischievous villain hunts around the plain of North-East Olenlollun, 15 days ride away.

Sir Gerald the Courteous swears to rid the world of this vile beast.

I thought fer sher that the blackhaired peasant was gonna join our
Gaye Companie, because Sir Gerald is soooo courteous that no lady
can resist him; that's how he got a tiny tap-dancing curiosity to be
his squire, a titled lady to be his juggler (she has the nicest hankies
EVER) and a Ursuline nun to be his "friar" (her name is really Sister
Mary Spooninus). Me, I'm just a titmouse, which is a kind of bird, but I
too fell under his spell, and I'm real good with a pen & parchment
(even better than the Ursuline!) Me and Teensie live in Sir Gerald's
saddle bag, but the other ladies have horses. I thought a peasant
would be a nice addition to our crew, but I guess I was Wrong,
because she tossed her raveny head in horror and left when she saw
Teensie gnawing on Sir Gerry's finger.
plain plain mountains
plain farm plain
plain plain plain
    Sonday, Septre 26th to Moonsday, Septre 27th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous rambles to the east without incident, from a plain in South Olenlollun to a mountains in South Olenlollun.

Yeah, that was pretty boring.
plain plain plain plain
plain plain mountains plain
plain farm plain plain
    Twosday, Septre 28th:
Venturing east, Sir Gerald the Courteous encounters a comely merchant in a plain in South-East Olenlollun.

Marie the Juggler talks to him. The merchant chats with Marie for a while.


The juggler is not named Marie, actually.
plain plain plain
mountains plain plain
plain plain plain
    Wedday, Septre 29th:
Voyaging east, Sir Gerald encounters a thug in a plain in South-East Olenlollun.

Sir Gerald scoffs at the thug. Sir Gerald the Courteous has decapitated the thug!

He decapitated him just by scoffing! My hero! I scoffed, too, but it
sounded like this "twee twee".
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Septre 30th:
Voyaging north, Sir Gerald meets a thug in a plain in South-East Olenlollun.

The thug's muscle find no weakness in Sir Gerald--but Sir Gerald's swiftness is too great for the thug--moreover Sir Gerald's wiliness overcomes the thug. Sir Gerald the Courteous has slain the thug!

I would make out with Sir Gerald, but my beak would pierce his lip I
think. I asked the other girls too but Spoonie has those vows and
Marie thinks he is gross. Teensy obliged by tapdancing on his neck til
he had a hickey.
plain mountains farm
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Octre 1st to Twosday, Octre 5th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous treks to the north eventlessly through the mountains of East Olenlollun.

Some of the other girls are tired, but not me, cause I can fly.
plain plain farm
plain mountains woods
mountains mountains woods
mountains mountains mountains
mountains mountains plain
plain mountains farm
plain plain plain
    Wedday, Octre 6th:
Journeying north, Sir Gerald the Courteous comes upon a robust traveler in a plain in North-East Olenlollun.

Teensy the Squire shares stories with him. The traveler gossips about his friends.


By Teensy I mean Teensy, and by "share stories" I mean "tapdance on his
neck until he has a hickey." By "gossips about his friends" I mean
"talks about his genital area." This is this great new thing I invented
called "allegory."
plain woods plain
plain plain farm
plain mountains woods
    Thorsday, Octre 7th:
Rambling north, Sir Gerald comes upon a lion in a woods in North-East Olenlollun.

The lion's swiftness is superior to Sir Gerald, also the lion's vigor can not overcome Sir Gerald; however Sir Gerald's experience overwhelms the lion. Sir Gerald the Courteous has driven off the lion!
In the melee, Marie the Juggler is injured!


Yikes. Of course it would be the fine lady, "Marie" (by which I mean
Marie) who would be injured, because her bones are noble and as fine
as glass.
plain plain plain
plain woods plain
plain plain farm
    Friarday, Octre 8th:
Venturing north, Sir Gerald the Courteous comes upon a tall peasant in a plain in North-East Olenlollun.

Teensy the Squire jokes with her. The peasant laughs.

Marie the Juggler feels better!


She feels better because she thinks she is classier than the peasant,
because the peasant is so unclassy with her laughing at Teensy
pretending that she wants to give her a hickey. Also she was laughing
at the height difference between her & Teensy.
plain farm farm
plain plain plain
plain woods plain
    Satyrday, Octre 9th:
Rambling north, Sir Gerald the Courteous runs into a slight peasant in a farm in North-East Olenlollun.

Spoonie the Friar shares stories with her. The peasant gossips about her friends.


I just showed the "Friar" my entry and told her about how I invented
allegory (by "shares stories" I mean "gives her the consecrated body
of Christ and some blood of Christ in the form of bread and wine")
and she said that I didn't invent allegory, I invented euphemism, and
didn't I know that allegory had already been invented by the guy that
wrote "Romance of the Rose" or maybe even earlier? I am chastened.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
plain plain plain
    Sonday, Octre 10th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous reaches the plain of North-East Olenlollun and finds a noxious lion.

Sir Gerald's wiliness is superior to the lion, yet the lion's quickness overwhelms Sir Gerald...moreover the lion's muscle overcomes Sir Gerald. Sir Gerald the Courteous has been wounded by the lion!
In the melee, Spoonie the Friar is injured, and Marie the Juggler is injured!


Yikes, that was intense. Luckily I secrete this great antiseptic
substance in my gizzard and I put it on Gerald's wounds so that he
can still be slick with the ladies.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
    Moonsday, Octre 11th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous's injuries turn septic!

Yikes. Maybe that substance isn't as antiseptic as I thought.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
    Twosday, Octre 12th to Wedday, Octre 13th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous rests in a plain in North-East Olenlollun.
Spoonie the Friar feels better!

Marie the Juggler feels better!


Now all the girls are well, so we can flirt with Sir Gerald as he
recovers. It's a very lovely scene. We all sit around him and wash his
wounds with different substances that we believe to be antiseptic.
Marie found some eggs, and we rubbed that on him. Then I was like,
Wait a second! Where did those eggs come from?????
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
    Thorsday, Octre 14th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous's injuries take a turn for the worse.

Okay, that's it, no more substances will be smeared on Sir Gerald.
Instead, we have all put on crowns and veils, and prepared a barge
and some big oars with which we can travel through the mists bearing
his dying body.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
    Friarday, Octre 15th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous begins to recover from his wounds.

Okay, we took off the veils and have prepared to leave. I'll miss this
lovely field. Just for fun, we smeared some manure on Gerald's
wounds to see if that would speed up the process.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm
    Satyrday, Octre 16th:
Sir Gerald the Courteous dies of his injuries!

R.I.P. Sir Gerald the Courteous


Yikes. Shouldn't have done that. Okay, well, we put the veils back on,
and are now singing a great dirge. Teensy wrote it. It kind of sounds
like some ragtime or something.
woods plain plain
plain farm farm

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