King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Reginald the Noble Assistants
Adrian the Squire
Emma the Sage
Support Staff
Dieter the Apothecary
Tuahan the Bard
Might:good
Skill:good
Cunning:average
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Wedday, Febuar 15th:
While Sir Reginald the Noble travels in North-West Myrlen, he meets an average height bumpkin in a farm. He tells Sir Reginald the story that a hateful miscreant kills travelers near the swamp of South-East Myrlen, 19 days ride away.

Sir Reginald the Noble promises to destroy this destructive creature.

Yo. It's me again, Tuahan the Bard Extraordanaire, ready to tackle a new adventure and claim another place in history. Too bad I have to take this knight guy along with me. He's oing to hinder me; I can just feel it.
plain farm plain
plain farm plain
plain plain woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 16th:
Sir Reginald the Noble rides to the south quickly through a plain in North-West Myrlen

We're carrying a creepy old woman in our party... This land is called Myrlen, almost definitely named after a certian wizard who liked to dress up as a creepy old guy and ride around with legends (a.k.a. me). Coincidence?
plain farm plain
plain plain woods
farm plain plain
    Friarday, Febuar 17th:
Riding east, Sir Reginald encounters a bear in a woods in North-West Myrlen.

Sir Reginald's strength overwhelms the bear; yet the bear's ruse is superior to Sir Reginald's maneuvering, and the bear's quickness is too great for Sir Reginald's skill. Sir Reginald the Noble has been wounded by the bear!
In the melee, Emma the Sage is injured!


The bear built a hunter trap. It was a simple pair of claws made of wood that interlocked when something stepped between them. I could have made one so much better.

Reggie got caught in the trap, the fool, and the wooden claws broke his skin. The bear probably poisoned the claws, too. I feel so used, brought along on this adventure that was doomed to fail.

After the bear saw that the main fighter was secure, chased us away and ate our store of berries. Emma was to slow to get away from the bear, so she got a sound smack with a bear's paw. His claws were probably poisoned, too. A guess Emma isn't a powerful magic-wielder after all.

What, you didn't expect ME do do anything, did you?
farm plain plain
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
    Satyrday, Febuar 18th:
Sir Reginald the Noble fully recovers!
Emma the Sage feels better!


What the freakmuffins? I sure didn't see Emma brew any healing liquids or mix healing salves! Emma the Sage should be Emma the Witch. They burn witches where I come from.

Of course, I was too busy jamming to Pibby Q. Funkenheimer's Phat Beatz to pay attention to what Emma was doing, but that doesn't mean anything.
farm plain plain
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
    Sonday, Febuar 19th to Moonsday, Febuar 20th:
Sir Reginald the Noble ventures to the south confidently through the plains of North-West Myrlen.

In every party I've travelled with, there's been a squire. And every time the squire never does anything. I mean, what do they plan to do, watch by learning? They could have at least picked a fight with a squirrel. I thought squires were supposed to be coarse and disrespectful to nature. Adrian, on the other hand, has hugged one too many trees.
plain plain river
woods plain farm
plain plain plain
plain plain town
    Twosday, Febuar 21st:
Riding east, Sir Reginald the Noble meets a baby-faced peasant in a plain in North-West Myrlen.

Dieter the Apothecary talks to her. The peasant gossips with Dieter.


It must be great to be a peasant. After all, ignorance is bliss. Dieter and the peasant had a brief discussion about whether or not tomatoes are poisonous. I think Dieter was able to provide the peasant conclusive evidence that they are.
plain farm plain
plain plain plain
plain town plain
    Wedday, Febuar 22nd:
Sir Reginald the Noble voyages to the east quickly through a plain in North Myrlen

Is Adrian a man or a woman, anyway?
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
town plain river
    Thorsday, Febuar 23rd:
Traveling south, Sir Reginald the Noble comes upon a shifty-eyed traveler in a plain in Central Myrlen.

Emma the Sage argues with him. The traveler argues back.


Exciting. Well, the peasant wouldn't stop shifting his eyes, and Emma was upset about that. She was all like, "Hey, stop shifting your eyes. You're throwing off my concentration." And he said, "Ok, but I'll still hold a grudge." This isn't good.
plain plain plain
town plain river
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Febuar 24th:
Journeying south, Sir Reginald comes upon a thug in a plain in Central Myrlen.

Sir Reginald proves far superior to the thug. Sir Reginald the Noble has decapitated the thug!

Woo! Go Sir Reginald! That thug tried to steal the pocketwatch that my grandfather gave me. But you know what Adrian did this whole time? Adrian was watering saplings as I was getting looted! That's what Adrian did!
town plain river
plain plain plain
town plain plain
    Satyrday, Febuar 25th:
Traveling south, Sir Reginald confronts a bandit in a plain in Central Myrlen.

The bandit's artifice outdoes Sir Reginald, yet Sir Reginald's vigor overwhelms the bandit; and Sir Reginald's quickness overcomes the bandit. Sir Reginald the Noble has slain the bandit!
In the melee, Emma the Sage is injured!


I don't see how Sir Reginald could have been swifter that the bandit, with his plate mail that takes him an hour to put on and take off every day. But it works for me.

I didn't see Emma in the fight, and at any rate Sir Reginald would have been to Noble to let her fight (Doesn't Noble mean snobbish?). I think Emma cut herself so we would think she was a powerful, invulnerable witch. Maybe Emma cut herself to make a philosophical statement that her blood is the same as ours. If I could have brought myself to look at her blood, it would have probably been black, the witch.
plain plain plain
town plain plain
plain plain plain
    Sonday, Febuar 26th:
Riding south, Sir Reginald encounters a thug in a plain in Central Myrlen.

Sir Reginald's swiftness is too great for the thug, but the thug's energy outdoes Sir Reginald, and the thug's sagacity is superior to Sir Reginald's wiliness. Sir Reginald the Noble has been defeated by the thug!
In the melee, Adrian the Squire is injured, and Dieter the Apothecary is injured!


Want to know why Reggie was beaten in every aspect by a thug, and why he let his whole party be injured? Because he sucks, that's why. Don't ask questions.
town plain plain
plain plain plain
river plain plain
    Moonsday, Febuar 27th:
Sir Reginald the Noble rests in a plain in Central Myrlen.
Dieter the Apothecary feels better!
Emma the Sage feels better!
Adrian the Squire feels better!


Now, that's just freaky. I think I have evidence of Emma's witchcraft that would hold up in any court.
town plain plain
plain plain plain
river plain plain
    Twosday, Febuar 28th:
Traveling east, Sir Reginald encounters a thug in a plain in Central Myrlen.

Sir Reginald proves far superior to the thug. Sir Reginald the Noble has decapitated the thug!

The snob. Lopping off people's heads because they have a lower role in society...
plain plain plain
plain plain farm
plain plain river
    Wedday, Febuar 29th:
Journeying south, Sir Reginald runs into a thug in a plain in Central Myrlen.

Sir Reginald's strength find no weakness in the thug; but Sir Reginald's swiftness overcomes the thug, and Sir Reginald's ruse outdoes the thug. Sir Reginald the Noble has slain the thug!

There he goes again. "The thug was just a worthless commoner. He'd never had been a noble!"

I think we should have brought along a cook. I'm tired of eating salads made from grass, flowers and oak leaves.
plain plain farm
plain plain river
woods farm woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 30th:
Going east, Sir Reginald the Noble comes upon a thin merchant in a river in Central Myrlen.

Dieter the Apothecary jokes with him. The merchant laughs.


Hmmph. Dieter was just joking about how he's been feeding me grass and oak salads while he cooked for the rest of the party (Except for Adrian, who likes oak salads). He also jested about how I think Emma's a witch, while he was the one who was making healing ointments for the party. I guess I should have looked up "Apothecary" before I left.
plain farm plain
plain river plain
farm woods woods
    Friarday, Marsh 1st:
Moving east, Sir Reginald comes upon a bandit in a plain in Central Myrlen.

The bandit's skill find no weakness in Sir Reginald, in contrast the bandit's might overcomes Sir Reginald's force--also the bandit's wisdom overwhelms Sir Reginald. Sir Reginald the Noble has been grievously wounded by the bandit!
In the melee, Emma the Sage is injured!


A wise bandit. I guess he was pretty wise in choosing his prey. Weak little sheltered snob.

This is the third time Emma's been injured. Does she have some kind of blood or bone condition? More importantly, is it contagious?
farm plain swamp
river plain plain
woods woods swamp
    Satyrday, Marsh 2nd:
Sir Reginald the Noble begins to recover from his wounds.

Oh, Reggie was wounded? Makes sense, but I've stopped caring, and apparently Adrian never cared. All Adrian does is meditate on a hill now.
farm plain swamp
river plain plain
woods woods swamp
    Sonday, Marsh 3rd:
Sir Reginald the Noble rests in a plain in Central Myrlen.
Emma the Sage dies of her injuries!


I hope you don't think I burned Emma at the stake. Well, I hope that isn't what you think.
farm plain swamp
river plain plain
woods woods swamp
    Moonsday, Marsh 4th:
Sir Reginald the Noble fully recovers!

Great... Can we move now? My Pibby Q. Funkenhiemer CD is getting all scratched up.
farm plain swamp
river plain plain
woods woods swamp
    Twosday, Marsh 5th:
Trekking east, Sir Reginald confronts a bandit in a plain in Central Myrlen.

The bandit's strategy overcomes Sir Reginald's craftiness...nevertheless Sir Reginald's might is too great for the bandit's energy, also Sir Reginald's nimbleness outdoes the bandit. Sir Reginald the Noble has defeated the bandit!
In the melee, Adrian the Squire is injured!


Finally, Sir Reggie bests someone. I'll try to recount the details the best I can, being such a loyal bard:

We were all sitting around, eating a soup made from this red vegetable Dieter found, when a bandit ambushed us! (That's the strategy part.) Reggie leaped to his feet, throwing the hot, scalding soup onto the bandit. (That's the dexterity part.) The bandit winced and rushed at Sir Reggie, and he would have trampled a fir sapling if Adrian hadn't thrown Adrian's self in his footpath. The bandit tripped over Adrian, and fell facefirst into the cauldron of soup! The bandit having been defeated, Sir Reggie sent him back home to his mommy for a severe scolding.
plain swamp mountains
plain plain plain
woods swamp farm
    Wedday, Marsh 6th:
Sir Reginald the Noble treks to the east eventlessly through a plain in East Myrlen

What does Dieter mean, anyway? Someone who diets?
swamp mountains mountains
plain plain plain
swamp farm swamp
    Thorsday, Marsh 7th:
Riding south, Sir Reginald comes upon a thug in a farm in South-East Myrlen.

The thug's wiliness can not overcome Sir Reginald's resourcefulness; but Sir Reginald's force overwhelms the thug--and Sir Reginald's nimbleness is too great for the thug. Sir Reginald the Noble has slain the thug!

Another day, another life-or-death situation with a thug. Ho-hum.
plain plain plain
swamp farm swamp
farm swamp swamp
    Friarday, Marsh 8th:
Sir Reginald the Noble rides to the south peacefully through a swamp in South-East Myrlen
Adrian the Squire dies of his injuries!


I didn't do anything this time! I swear!
swamp farm swamp
farm swamp swamp
woods swamp farm
    Satyrday, Marsh 9th:
Sir Reginald the Noble reaches the swamp of South-East Myrlen and finds a base snake.

Sir Reginald is more than a match for the snake. Sir Reginald the Noble has decapitated the snake!


A base snake. Stupid bumpkin who told us about this journey. Hmm, well, just dramaticize Emma's and Adrian's deaths, and change the snake to a basilisk, and this one's going down in the history books. Oh yeah.
farm swamp swamp
woods swamp farm
river swamp town

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