King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Bartholomew the Just Assistants
e-zeek-eel the Squire
Superfly the Standard-Barer
Support Staff
Elliott the Friar
Sladius Maximus' Webmasterous the Bard
Might:average
Skill:average
Cunning:very good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Moonsday, Septre 20th:
While Sir Bartholomew the Just travels in East Lalgik, he meets an average height cleric in a town. He tells Sir Bartholomew that there are whispers a malicious villain lurks near the woods of South-West Lalgik, 20 days ride away.

Sir Bartholomew the Just swears to eradicate this harmful creature.

A malicious villain?!?! OH NO!!!! However, we weren't afraid - we came prepared. Ah yes, a two-handed saber of ultimate justice (which gives one +20 to every stat that won't help you in battle at all, like needlepoint, telecommunications, and tiddly-winks), a bazooka, and our "L33t f0r dumb13z" field guide.
plain plain plain
plain town farm
plain farm plain
    Twosday, Septre 21st to Wedday, Septre 22nd:
Sir Bartholomew the Just travels to the south confidently through the plains of East Lalgik.

Superfly was practicing with the bazooka today, it was an ugly site. We've left many trees blown to shrapnel in our wake. However, not much action yet, apart from those vicious "slimes" that seem to randomly pop up everywhere on the overworld map!!!
plain plain plain
farm plain town
plain plain farm
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Septre 23rd:
Voyaging west, Sir Bartholomew the Just comes upon a dirty traveler in a plain in East Lalgik.

Superfly the Standard-Barer talks to him. The traveler chats with Superfly for a while.


She said she was a con-q-bine, however she looked more like the last president of Lalgik's wife. I'm surprised she stayed with him after that affair. At any rate - we paid her 20 gold to lead us to our destination. Wherever it may be.
plain farm plain
plain plain plain
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Septre 24th:
Trekking west, Sir Bartholomew the Just comes upon a fresh-faced traveler in a plain in East Lalgik.

Superfly the Standard-Barer talks to him. The traveler chats with Superfly for a while.


Westward ho! A fresh faced traveler this time! SOMEONE SHAVES OUT HERE! We promptly bludgeoned the skull of the fresh-faced traveler and donned his shaving equipment so we all wouldn't look so rugged.
swamp plain farm
swamp plain plain
swamp plain plain
    Satyrday, Septre 25th:
Riding south, Sir Bartholomew encounters a bandit in a plain in East Lalgik.

Sir Bartholomew's quickness is equal to the bandit...but Sir Bartholomew's might overcomes the bandit, also Sir Bartholomew's resourcefulness outdoes the bandit. Sir Bartholomew the Just has slain the bandit!

Ah yes, the smooth chinned look is really working for us. Now that we are no longer rugged, people underestimate our awesome ferocity!! Sure, they chant "pretty boy" when I walk through the town, but they sing a different tune when Mr. Chain Mail and Mr. Suped-up Bazooka make a guest appearance.
swamp plain plain
swamp plain plain
town plain plain
    Sonday, Septre 26th:
Sir Bartholomew the Just voyages to the south peacefully through a plain in East Lalgik

It wasn't all that peaceful, the road was so darn bumpy, I couldn't get a wink of sleep. Our next quest will be to assinate the members of the highway department.
swamp plain plain
town plain plain
swamp swamp swamp
    Moonsday, Septre 27th:
Journeying west, Sir Bartholomew the Just comes upon a raven haired merchant in a town in Central Lalgik.

e-zeek-eel the Squire shoves her. The merchant runs away.


That stupid squire. Why's he always so mean anyways!? Now we have to go to Discount Ned's to buy our armor.
swamp swamp plain
swamp town plain
swamp swamp swamp
    Twosday, Septre 28th:
Trekking west, Sir Bartholomew meets a bandit in a swamp in Central Lalgik.

The bandit's skill overcomes Sir Bartholomew...however Sir Bartholomew's might is superior to the bandit, and Sir Bartholomew's maneuvering is too great for the bandit. Sir Bartholomew the Just has defeated the bandit!
In the melee, e-zeek-eel the Squire is injured!


HAHAHA!! E-zeek-eel got injured today! L00zer!! Yeah! Little does he know, it was my sword which oh so accidentially grazed his achilies tendon...
swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp town
swamp swamp swamp
    Wedday, Septre 29th to Sonday, Octre 3rd:
Sir Bartholomew the Just goes to the south-west peacefully through the swamps of South Lalgik.
e-zeek-eel the Squire feels better!


Darn you wholistic medicine, you can heal everything, I liked it better when e-zeek was limping along and screaming in mortal pain.
swamp swamp swamp town
swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp plain swamp
swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp woods farm
swamp swamp swamp swamp
    Moonsday, Octre 4th:
Riding south, Sir Bartholomew meets a snake in a swamp in South Lalgik.

The snake's strength matches Sir Bartholomew's force; nevertheless Sir Bartholomew's grace overwhelms the snake; and Sir Bartholomew's resourcefulness overcomes the snake's strategy. Sir Bartholomew the Just has slain the snake!

Ha! A snake!! Superfly l33ted him to death! More later!
swamp swamp woods
swamp swamp swamp
    Twosday, Octre 5th to Wedday, Octre 6th:
Sir Bartholomew the Just goes to the west eventlessly through the swamps of South Lalgik.

Anyways, about Superfly - he goes like this "H3y j00 su00p1d sna3k!! I l33t j00, r1t3 h33r!! Ph33r m3!!! Ph33r my l33t h4x0r 5ki11z!" and he died, like that.
woods plain swamp swamp
plain swamp swamp swamp
    Thorsday, Octre 7th:
Moving west, Sir Bartholomew the Just runs into a fat merchant in a plain in South-West Lalgik.

e-zeek-eel the Squire flirts with her. The merchant rolls her eyes.


E-zeek is at it again. *poisions his coffee* - no one will know...
woods woods plain
woods plain swamp
    Friarday, Octre 8th:
Moving west, Sir Bartholomew encounters a wolf in a woods in South-West Lalgik.

Sir Bartholomew quickly overwhelms the wolf. Sir Bartholomew the Just has decapitated the wolf!

Ding dong the wolf is dead la la la la... la la OW!!! *trips over rock*
woods woods woods
woods woods plain
    Satyrday, Octre 9th:
Sir Bartholomew the Just voyages to the west confidently through a woods in South-West Lalgik

So here we are, almost to the end of our quest... to.... nowhere... yep.... wow... exciting.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Sonday, Octre 10th:
Sir Bartholomew the Just reaches the woods of South-West Lalgik and finds a ruinous evil knight. Sir Bartholomew the Just turns tail from him!
In the melee, e-zeek-eel the Squire is injured!


After 1 day, e-zeek-eel the Squire dies of his injuries.

He's DEAD!! PRAISE ALLAH!!!! All together now!! Allah allah allah allah...
woods woods woods
woods woods woods

Basic TaleBard's Tales
Write a Bard's Tale
Shield DesignComments?
betatest my game, WyvernQuest
Back to: King Dwain   Polymorph
#861