King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Phillip the Fierce Assistants
Nathan the Squire
Support Staff
Elliott the Friar
Sharon the Apothecary
Slade the Bard
Might:good
Skill:average
Cunning:good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Friarday, Decre 18th:
While Sir Phillip the Fierce travels in North Lykmyllan, he meets a fat villager in a town. He tells Sir Phillip that there are whispers a dread creature preys upon the unlucky about the woods of West Lykmyllan, 17 days ride away.

Sir Phillip the Fierce binds himself to defeat this base monstrosity.

The tale of Sir Phillip shall be told for ages. I shall narrate with stunning acuteness of emotion and detail!

With an icy flint in his eye, Sir Phillip gazes warily at the township of Grthunklin. It's quiet... too quiet. A fat man with a face that touches his toes approches and speaks. With a startling realization, Sir Phillip gasps. The town consists of only three people, two of which have been eaten by a dread creature that makes its lair somewhere deep in the woods to the southwest.
woods farm plain
swamp town plain
swamp swamp plain
    Satyrday, Decre 19th:
Traveling west, Sir Phillip meets a bandit in a swamp in North Lykmyllan.

Sir Phillip the Fierce clashes with the bandit to a standstill--next Sir Phillip is more than a match for the bandit. Sir Phillip the Fierce has slain the bandit!
In the melee, Nathan the Squire is injured!


There is a clang of steel upon steel as the squire, Nathan, spars off with the Fierce Sir Phillip. The warnings of the humble bard go unheeded as the two practice with deadly weaponry instead of the tough oak training sticks. Nathan barely dodges a killing blow, taking a huge gash in his side as Sir Phillip leaps at him, accidently running a previously unseen footpad clean through.
swamp woods farm
swamp swamp town
plain swamp swamp
    Sonday, Decre 20th:
Moving west, Sir Phillip comes upon a snake in a swamp in North Lykmyllan.

Sir Phillip the Fierce fights the snake to a deadlock...after this, Sir Phillip's strength outdoes the snake, and Sir Phillip's artifice is superior to the snake, but the snake's skill is too great for Sir Phillip. Sir Phillip the Fierce has been defeated by the snake!
In the melee, Elliott the Friar is injured!


With Nathan down, Sir Phillip spars with the unarmed Friar Elliot. Sweat gleams down the two temporary adversaries as Eliiot flees quickly from the encumbered knight. Sir Phillip utters a cry of defeat and sits down hard, platemail gleaming in the sun.

With lightning speed, a snake darts from the underbrush and latches itself onto Sir Phillip's nape. Elliot looks back at the started cry of the knight and collides roughly with a tree.
swamp swamp woods
swamp swamp swamp
plain plain swamp
    Moonsday, Decre 21st:
Sir Phillip the Fierce rests in a swamp in North Lykmyllan.
Nathan the Squire dies of his injuries!
Elliott the Friar feels better!


Alas, Sharon's medicines are no cure for the rupture of numerous vital organs. It is with a visage wet with tears that she shovels the loam on top of the late Nathan's cooling body.

At length I decide that being half buried was quite enough, and as being the only being in control of his emotions in camp, order a grueling march to the south west. I've taken many medicinal classes, and every one says that not only will a turnaquet kill one bitten by a snake, but excerzise will surely cure it quickly. No one is in any condition to agree.
swamp swamp woods
swamp swamp swamp
plain plain swamp
    Twosday, Decre 22nd to Sonday, Decre 27th:
Sir Phillip the Fierce journeys to the south-west peacefully, from a plain in North Lykmyllan to a woods in Central Lykmyllan.

We spend five days croassing the plains. The sun beats down nearly constantly, and we must stop to rest numerous times as Sir Phillip becomes asphyxiated quite easily during the summer in full platemail. Elliot has had an epiphany. He has discovered the secrets of quantum temporal thermal-dynamics. We have yet to apply his theorys to an axe and shield.
swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp plain plain swamp
swamp swamp swamp swamp
swamp swamp plain swamp
woods woods woods woods
woods woods woods woods
woods farm woods woods
    Moonsday, Decre 28th:
Moving west, Sir Phillip the Fierce comes upon a lank peasant in a woods in Central Lykmyllan.

Elliott the Friar introduces himself to him. The peasant grins good-naturedly.


At first the man appears to be a part of the scenery. A small oak tree, a fledgling spruce, perhaps. Soon, however it becomes clear that it is infact a peasant. Elliot began to explain the true nature of time and space to the man, who simply smiled and nodded.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods farm
    Twosday, Decre 29th:
Sir Phillip the Fierce travels to the south eventlessly through a woods in Central Lykmyllan

The twinge in our fierce knight's eye has grown steadily worse as he hasn't had anyone to spar with or kill in weeks. Elliot has begun building a dynamic equilibriator so we won't have to boil our coffee over the fire anymore.
woods woods woods
woods woods farm
woods woods woods
    Wedday, Decre 30th:
Traveling south, Sir Phillip the Fierce encounters a raven haired traveler in a woods in Central Lykmyllan.

Sharon the Apothecary shares stories with her. The traveler gossips about her friends.


The sun is a massive hammer, and we are nails being slowy driven towards the grave. Elliot spots a house in the distance, and rushes towards it. He needs toaster filiment to complete his first invention. Suddenly, there is a flutter of wings from the tree to my right. I nimbly dodge, gracefully hackflipping away from the danger, and Sir Phillip leaps up, as much as one can leap in platemail, his axe stopping an inch from splitting the skull of a petrified traveler. We realize that she is bald, and actually has ravens nest in her pate to create the illusion of hair. Sharon tells her about a potion she once made that cured baldness and athlete's foot at the same time. The traveler tought us all about female pattern baldness.
woods woods farm
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Thorsday, Januar 1st:
Sir Phillip the Fierce travels to the south peacefully through a woods in Central Lykmyllan

There is the smell of air after a lightning strike as an unearthly green light leaps from the contraption Elliot has created. It looks like some sort of potted plant, with transformers and various appliance elements fused in. There is the sense that something is wrong, and I turn, to find that where there once was a tree, there is now space. Not air. Space. For just a second, my insides feel like they are being pulled out of my mouth, and then everything is the way it was, minus the tree. I think I'll stay away from Elliot.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods plain plain
    Friarday, Januar 2nd:
Going west, Sir Phillip comes upon a lion in a woods in West Lykmyllan. Sir Phillip the Fierce escapes from it!

Sir Phillip was going to let Elliot zap the lion, but the quantum thermal-dynamic capacitator shorted out. I think Elliot makes up a new name for his machine every time he uses it.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods plain
    Satyrday, Januar 3rd:
Sir Phillip the Fierce travels to the west without incident through a woods in West Lykmyllan

We've replaced the temporal converter in the capacitator after finding an undamged one lying in the woods.

Elliot suddenly has the strange feeling that he is in the wrong place. He quickly turns and runs north out of sight. He returns soon with a strange metalic device and a note which reads "You need this part, Elliot of Januar 3rd. Signed - Elliot Januar 20th"
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Sonday, Januar 4th:
Journeying west, Sir Phillip the Fierce encounters a beautiful woodsman in a woods in West Lykmyllan.

Elliott the Friar talks to her. The woodsman chats with Elliott for a while.


Elliot is spreading his theory like wildfire. We weren't sure about the gender of the beautiful woodsMAN, but gender doesn't matter during a discussion on the space-time continuum.
woods woods woods
plain woods woods
woods woods woods
    Moonsday, Januar 5th:
Trekking west, Sir Phillip encounters a bandit in a plain in West Lykmyllan.

Sir Phillip is more than a match for the bandit. Sir Phillip the Fierce has slain the bandit!

The Bandit took one look at Sir Phillip, the snake still hanging from his neck, and ran away. I threw a juggling ball at him, and hit him in his neck. He died, but Phillip got the kill. Stupid camper.
woods woods woods
woods plain woods
woods woods woods
    Twosday, Januar 6th:
Sir Phillip the Fierce reaches the woods of West Lykmyllan and finds a deplorable bear.

The bear's nimbleness overcomes Sir Phillip, nevertheless Sir Phillip's power overwhelms the bear; and Sir Phillip's artifice outdoes the bear. Sir Phillip the Fierce has driven off the bear!


At last, the quarry of our quest is revealed! The boar drinks serenely at the base of a river as Sir Phillip leaps upon it, axe flailing. The boar leaps around to face the valliant knight, and manages to evade every attack of our hero. Elliot thinks quickly, and manages to erase the boar from existance with his QTTDC, leaving only a smell of bacon and a green after image.
woods woods
woods plain
woods woods

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