King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Adam the Valorous Assistants
Gregory the Squire
Support Staff
Laura the Guide
Nina the Apothecary
Lefticus the Bard
Might:good
Skill:average
Cunning:good
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Sonday, Febuar 5th:
While Sir Adam the Valorous travels in East Olurcuhlan, he meets a thin courtier in a castle. She tells Sir Adam about suspicions that a deplorable threat hunts near the woods of North-West Olurcuhlan, 17 days ride away.

Sir Adam the Valorous pledges to overthrow this lurking danger.

That's the great thing about Sir Adam: he's valorous, but with a smile! Gregory insists that we tell everyone we meet to "have a nice day", even if whe have just killed them.

Nina, as a apothecary and mixer of potions (& alcoholic beverages, incidentally), finds this troubling, but Laura (who is really more of a spiritual guide than a geographic one) finds it Karmically appropriate.
swamp woods woods
woods castle woods
mountains plain plain
    Moonsday, Febuar 6th to Twosday, Febuar 7th:
Sir Adam the Valorous treks to the north peacefully, from a woods in Central Olurcuhlan to a swamp in Central Olurcuhlan.

Nina has been collecting small sticks and twigs during our two days of travel. We are not certain why.
woods woods woods
woods swamp woods
woods woods castle
mountains mountains plain
    Wedday, Febuar 8th:
Journeying north, Sir Adam comes upon a boar in a woods in Central Olurcuhlan.

The boar's dexterity is too great for Sir Adam, nevertheless Sir Adam's hardiness is superior to the boar, and Sir Adam's wiliness outdoes the boar. Sir Adam the Valorous has slain the boar!
In the melee, Laura the Guide is injured!


We first became aware of the boar when Laura walked back into camp, leading the beast by the tusk & claiming it was her Spirit Animal.

In her defense, the boar Did seem rather placid before Sir Adam and Gregory started to try to kill it (on general principle)...after they attacked, it ended up kicking Laura in the gut while fighting for its life.

Fortunately, it barbecued up real tastey.
woods woods town
woods woods woods
woods swamp woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 9th:
Sir Adam the Valorous travels to the north peacefully through a woods in Central Olurcuhlan

Laura has declared that we have all brought great peril upon ourselves by killing, and then eating, her spirit animal. Gregory tells her to have a nice day.
woods woods town
woods woods town
woods woods woods
    Friarday, Febuar 10th:
Going west, Sir Adam confronts a boar in a woods in Central Olurcuhlan.

The boar's skill find no weakness in Sir Adam's agility, yet Sir Adam's force overwhelms the boar, furthermore Sir Adam's wiliness overcomes the boar. Sir Adam the Valorous has slain the boar!
Laura the Guide feels better!


For some reason, after we killed another vicious boar, Laura is feeling better. Who can figure out the mysteries of the spirit world!

Speaking of mysteries, we now know why Nina gathered all those sticks...she's been making little umbrellas to put in our nightly pina colada! Everyone thinks they are just darling.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Satyrday, Febuar 11th:
Sir Adam the Valorous voyages to the west quickly through a woods in Central Olurcuhlan

Everyone had a hangover today, making it the Worst Satyrday EVER!
woods woods woods
farm woods woods
woods woods woods
    Sonday, Febuar 12th:
Trekking west, Sir Adam the Valorous runs into a muscular peasant in a farm in Central Olurcuhlan.

Gregory the Squire introduces himself to him. The peasant shakes hands with Gregory.


Gregory was impressed by the peasant's buffness. He may try this "work hard and never get enough to eat" diet. Nina rolls her eyes.
woods woods woods
town farm woods
woods woods woods
    Moonsday, Febuar 13th:
Riding north, Sir Adam encounters a bear in a woods in Central Olurcuhlan.

Sir Adam proves far superior to the bear. Sir Adam the Valorous has decapitated the bear!

Laura isn't sure we should be killing everything so willy-nilly...she was saying something about the Great Wheel of Life, but then Nina started sprinkling salt on the margarita glasses, & everyone stopped paying attention.
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
town farm woods
    Twosday, Febuar 14th to Wedday, Febuar 15th:
Sir Adam the Valorous journeys to the north without incident through the woods of North Olurcuhlan.

Great Wheel of Life our collective fannies! Everything's going great!
woods plain woods
farm woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 16th:
Traveling west, Sir Adam the Valorous comes upon a swarthy peasant in a farm in North Olurcuhlan.

Laura the Guide shoves him. The peasant shoves Laura back.


Laura's gloom-n-doom prognostication doesn't suit the locals any better than it does our mighty group. Sir Adam's smiling shield-heraldry is a mocking inverse-reflection of her frowny face...it's as ironic as a crying clown!
woods woods plain
woods farm woods
farm woods woods
    Friarday, Febuar 17th:
Going north, Sir Adam comes upon a bear in a woods in North Olurcuhlan.

The bear's hardiness overwhelms Sir Adam, but Sir Adam's grace is superior to the bear, furthermore Sir Adam's cunning overcomes the bear. Sir Adam the Valorous has slain the bear!

We're not sure if Laura was hoping the bear would do some damage, so as to help bear out her predictions (so to speak).
town woods woods
woods woods plain
woods farm woods
    Satyrday, Febuar 18th:
Journeying north, Sir Adam confronts a bear in a woods in North Olurcuhlan.

The bear's muscle is superior to Sir Adam, but Sir Adam's skill overwhelms the bear's speed...and Sir Adam's cunning is too great for the bear. Sir Adam the Valorous has defeated the bear!

More bears, but Sir Adam is just so darned cunning!
woods woods woods
town woods woods
woods woods plain
    Sonday, Febuar 19th:
Riding west, Sir Adam the Valorous encounters an average height villager in a town in North-West Olurcuhlan.

Nina the Apothecary shoves him. The villager runs away.


The first town in days & they try to steal our Vodka! So much for the famous Olurcuhlan hospitality!
woods woods woods
woods town woods
woods woods woods
    Moonsday, Febuar 20th:
Riding west, Sir Adam runs into a bear in a woods in North-West Olurcuhlan.

Sir Adam the Valorous fights the bear to a stalemate...then The bear's artifice overwhelms Sir Adam--and Sir Adam's vigor matches the bear, yet Sir Adam's agility is too great for the bear. Sir Adam the Valorous has defeated the bear!
In the melee, Laura the Guide is slain!


Oh dear.

There are many red-rimmed eyes hovering over our collective mugs o' tequila this evening...Sir Adam's mighty mind failed him, and the bear managed to maul our pessimistic guide before it could be defeated.

By the time Nina got to Laura to try to apply soothing balms and ungents, it was too late; her last words were, "i told you so..."

We buried her under a pretty tree, and Gregory delivered the eulogy; it went like this: "Have a nice day."

No one could ever accuse Gregory of being clever.
woods woods woods
woods woods town
woods woods woods
    Twosday, Febuar 21st:
Sir Adam the Valorous travels to the west quickly through a woods in North-West Olurcuhlan

Our wine-fueled games of Twister aren't even half as fun without our sour-faced guide prophesizing doom at us. Why, bear, why!
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Wedday, Febuar 22nd:
Sir Adam the Valorous reaches the woods of North-West Olurcuhlan and finds a base ogre.

Sir Adam's sagacity outdoes the ogre; nevertheless the ogre's quickness is superior to Sir Adam's skill...and the ogre's might overwhelms Sir Adam. Sir Adam the Valorous has been wounded by the ogre!
In the melee, Nina the Apothecary is injured!


Ouch.

Everyone's all ache-y, but Sir Adam & Nina got the worst of it. The ogre was throwing WHOLE TABLES at us.
plain woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 23rd:
Sir Adam the Valorous fully recovers!

After 1 day, Nina the Apothecary dies of her injuries.

Sir Adam's smiley-face shield allowed him to pull through his near-mortal furniture-inflicted wounds.

Nina was not so lucky...she got hit in the liver with one of the ogre-flung kitchen tables, and the already sorely-abused organ just gave out on her.

We heard a distinctly Laura-sounding laugh coming from a boar that was sauntering by our camp as we were burying Nina. Gregory chased it, but was unable to catch it. We were left with a bad taste in our mouth and a 'Twilight Zone'-style shiver in our spines.
plain woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods

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