King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Simon the Powerful Assistants
Thomas the Squire
Carolyn the Sage
Support Staff
Frances the Apothecary
Lefticus the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Satyrday, Febuar 11th:
While Sir Simon the Powerful travels in West Gymton, he meets a robust peasant in a farm. He tells Sir Simon that people believe that a dread threat feeds upon people in the mountains of North Gymton, 16 days ride away.

Sir Simon the Powerful makes an oath to best this mischievous hazard.

Thomas is excited to be travelling in Gymton, the sit-up and chin-up capital of the world. Carolyn looks forward to snowboarding and skiing in the mountains of North Gymton. Frances keeps trying to optimize Sir Simon's stats.
farm woods
farm woods
woods woods
    Sonday, Febuar 12th to Twosday, Febuar 14th:
Sir Simon the Powerful rambles to the east peacefully through the woods of West Gymton.

Carolyn's attempts at cross-country skiing are not helping us pass through these woods. Frances tells her it is because she needs at least a +2 moss/wax gel on each ski to attain the appropriate level of frictionlessness.
farm woods woods woods woods
farm woods woods woods woods
woods woods woods woods woods
    Wedday, Febuar 15th:
Riding north, Sir Simon confronts a wolf in a woods in West Gymton.

Sir Simon is unimpressed by the wolf. Sir Simon the Powerful has slain the wolf!

Thomas credits his Buffercise training video for Sir Simon's powerfulness. Puny preditors need not apply!
farm woods woods
woods woods woods
woods woods woods
    Thorsday, Febuar 16th:
Traveling north, Sir Simon encounters a wolf in a woods in West Gymton.

The wolf's might overwhelms Sir Simon's power, but Sir Simon's nimbleness is superior to the wolf's dexterity...moreover Sir Simon's cleverness is too great for the wolf. Sir Simon the Powerful has slain the wolf!

Unfortunately, this wolf has also done some of Thomas's exercise regimen. Fortunately, Sir Simon was able to take advantage of a new dodging rule (discovered by Frances) to overcome the wolf.
woods woods woods
farm woods woods
woods woods woods
    Friarday, Febuar 17th:
Sir Simon the Powerful ventures to the east peacefully through a woods in West Gymton

Carolyn wanted to stop at that farm we passed, to pick up some extra scarves, but Thomas would brook no delays.
woods woods plain
woods woods woods
woods woods plain
    Satyrday, Febuar 18th:
Voyaging east, Sir Simon meets a bear in a woods in Central Gymton.

The bear's toughness overwhelms Sir Simon's strength, and the bear's cleverness is countered by Sir Simon; yet Sir Simon's nimbleness outdoes the bear. Sir Simon the Powerful has driven off the bear!

At the edge of the forest, a giant bear came up to us and said that "Only we could prevent forest fires," then attempted to detach Frances's head from his torso. Unfortunately, Sir Simon intervened and drove the beast away.
woods plain town
woods woods plain
woods plain woods
    Sonday, Febuar 19th:
Sir Simon the Powerful ventures to the east quickly through a plain in Central Gymton

Carolyn is wondering why none of the copious tree cover decided to grow here, as it's really very lovely. Thomas's theory: it couldn't stand the weak, unmuscular soil in this region. I'm surrounded by lunatics...and soon we'll get into dangerous mountain country!
plain town mountains
woods plain woods
plain woods woods
    Moonsday, Febuar 20th:
Moving north, Sir Simon the Powerful runs into a handsome villager in a town in North Gymton.

Thomas the Squire talks to him. The villager chats with Thomas for a while.


Thomas and Villager engaged in a flex-o-thon of Hans-&-Franzian proportions.
mountains plain mountains
plain town mountains
woods plain woods
    Twosday, Febuar 21st:
Venturing north, Sir Simon meets a bandit in a plain in North Gymton.

The bandit's strength is too great for Sir Simon, but Sir Simon's speed overwhelms the bandit, moreover Sir Simon's artifice is superior to the bandit. Sir Simon the Powerful has slain the bandit!

The bandit had stolen all the mountains that were supposed to be in this hectare of land, so he was sort of encumbered.
mountains mountains woods
mountains plain mountains
plain town mountains
    Wedday, Febuar 22nd:
Sir Simon the Powerful treks to the north eventlessly through a mountains in North Gymton

Carolyn is finally able to unlimber her snow-board and get some quality sagacious thrash-time in. Good for her.

Thomas has taken to bench-pressing the snowmen that Frances builds. Odd.
mountains mountains mountains
mountains mountains woods
mountains plain mountains
    Thorsday, Febuar 23rd:
Moving east, Sir Simon comes upon a bear in a woods in North Gymton.

The bear's toughness overwhelms Sir Simon, however Sir Simon's wiliness outdoes the bear's maneuvering; also Sir Simon's agility overcomes the bear. Sir Simon the Powerful has slain the bear!
In the melee, Thomas the Squire is injured!


While Frances was busy telling Sir Simon to attack from higher elevation than the bear, to get a +3 to-hit bonus, Thomas was caught unawares & cuffed off of his horse.
mountains mountains mountains
mountains woods mountains
plain mountains mountains
    Friarday, Febuar 24th to Sonday, Febuar 26th:
Sir Simon the Powerful rides to the north-east peacefully through the mountains of North Gymton.

Back in the mountains again, Carolyn is dragging Thomas on a ski-based palette; between delirious bouts of pain, Thomas envies her the workout.
mountains mountains mountains woods
mountains mountains mountains woods
woods mountains mountains woods
mountains mountains mountains woods
    Moonsday, Febuar 27th:
Sir Simon the Powerful reaches the mountains of North Gymton and finds a malicious ghost. Sir Simon the Powerful runs away from it!
Thomas the Squire feels better!


Eegads! Carolyn recognized the ghost as her ex-snowboarding partner, Boffo Jim, who died in a horrible half-pipe accident of death. As we fleed ignominiously from it, Thomas laughed and laughed, and then was in full health again.

Frances thinks we could have defeated the late Boffo Jim by using the Sage's special abilities to disrupt phantasmal spirits; Carolyn suggests he store a ski in a way that sounds anatomically impossible.
mountains mountains woods
mountains mountains woods

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