King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Gerald the Honest Assistants
Leonard the Squire
Support Staff
Zelda the Guide
Sebastian the Apothecary
Lefticus the Bard
Might:good
Skill:good
Cunning:average
Bravery:bold
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Thorsday, Nay 3rd:
While Sir Gerald the Honest travels in South-East Kakayglun, he meets a spotty drunk in a town. He tells Sir Gerald that there are whispers a lethal fiend lurks around the river of North-West Kakayglun, 19 days ride away.

Sir Gerald the Honest binds himself to execute this destructive peril.

Sebastian suggested that the drunk's spot problem could be ameliorated by careful application of some cold cream.

Leonard believes that facial salves are for sissies. Sir Gerald honestly doesn't know.
plain plain plain
mountains town farm
mountains river mountains
    Friarday, Nay 4th:
Riding west, Sir Gerald confronts a lion in a mountains in South-East Kakayglun.

The lion far outclasses Sir Gerald. Sir Gerald the Honest has been grievously wounded by the lion!
In the melee, Zelda the Guide is injured!


Sebastian suspects Leonard might be less gung-ho than he previously portrayed himself, what with his throwing down his sword & running for his life as the vicious mountain lion mauled Sir Gerald & Zelda.

Zelda gave her collection of porcelain "Sad Clown" statuettes to Sebastian for 'safe keeping.' Sebastian had one of those great comforting-the-dying scenes, where he goes, "I won't take care of your Sad Clowns--YOU'RE going to be able to take care of your Sad Clowns!"
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Satyrday, Nay 5th:
Sir Gerald the Honest's injuries take a turn for the worse.

Sebastian spent the day treating the cosmetic effects of everyone's injuries. It was unhelpful.
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Sonday, Nay 6th to Twosday, Nay 8th:
Sir Gerald the Honest rests in a mountains in South-East Kakayglun.
Zelda the Guide feels better!


However, all Zelda needs to claw her way out of Death's Embrace is her Sad Clowns. And a turkey sandwich on pumpernickel (Leonard felt bad for chickening out before, so he's been running back to town to pick up lunch for the past 3 days).
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Wedday, Nay 9th:
Sir Gerald the Honest begins to recover from his wounds.

Zelda is trying to heal Sir Gerald by having her Sad Clowns perform a rain dance. It's very confusing.
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Thorsday, Nay 10th:
Sir Gerald the Honest rests in a mountains in South-East Kakayglun.

Leonard has befriended a local eagle who nests nearby. They both like to try to kill small songbirds with their beak/teeth. Leonard's calling him "Strikey."
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Friarday, Nay 11th:
Sir Gerald the Honest fully recovers!

The amusing antics of Strikey have giggled Sir Gerald back to full health! After 8 days into our quest, we prepare for our 2nd day of riding tomorrow.
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
mountains mountains river
    Satyrday, Nay 12th:
Journeying north, Sir Gerald the Honest encounters an athletic traveler in a plain in East Kakayglun.

Zelda the Guide dances with him. The traveler blushes.


Zelda likes the men-folk! Her dance was interrupted by Strikey's unprovoked attack on the box of Sad Clowns.
plain plain plain
swamp plain plain
farm mountains town
    Sonday, Nay 13th:
Going north, Sir Gerald runs into a thug in a plain in East Kakayglun.

Sir Gerald is more than a match for the thug. Sir Gerald the Honest has decapitated the thug!

After being mauled by a lion, no lesser being can stand before Sir Gerald! Sebastian has to be restrained from attempting to sell the severed head some concealing cream which would "almost cover up your unfortunate injury."
river plain plain
plain plain plain
swamp plain plain
    Moonsday, Nay 14th:
Venturing west, Sir Gerald the Honest encounters an upright merchant in a plain in East Kakayglun.

Sebastian the Apothecary talks to him. The merchant chats with Sebastian for a while.


Sebastian had to stock up on unguents and emollients and balms.
plain river plain
plain plain plain
plain swamp plain
    Twosday, Nay 15th:
Rambling west, Sir Gerald the Honest confronts a comely traveler in a plain in Central Kakayglun.

Sebastian the Apothecary argues with him. The traveler argues back.


Sebastian can not stop himself from suggesting ways for people to better their makeup regime. It is his Achilles' Heel.
plain plain river
plain plain plain
plain plain swamp
    Wedday, Nay 16th:
Sir Gerald the Honest treks to the north without incident through a plain in Central Kakayglun

Sir Gerald says that we are honestly coming alongside some rivers. Leonard believes Strikey would like to go fishing. Sir Gerald said, "we shall see."
plain plain river
plain plain river
plain plain plain
    Thorsday, Nay 17th:
Journeying west, Sir Gerald encounters a thug in a plain in Central Kakayglun.

Sir Gerald far outclasses the thug. Sir Gerald the Honest has decapitated the thug!

Stupid thug! No match for Sir Gerald!
plain plain plain
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Nay 18th:
Sir Gerald the Honest treks to the north eventlessly through a plain in Central Kakayglun

All the not fishing we're doing is making Strikey feel sad and unloved. Zelda is trying to explain about our quest to Strikey, using her Sad Clowns as stand-ins for concepts too abstract for the eagle to understand (like courage or pumpernickel).
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
farm plain plain
    Satyrday, Nay 19th:
Moving west, Sir Gerald the Honest encounters a fat peasant in a plain in Central Kakayglun.

Zelda the Guide boasts to her. The peasant gasps.


Zelda showed the peasant her 1912 mint-condition Sad Clown with felt vest & little glass dog on a leash collectable, which is worth "like a million dollars." The peasant was appropriately awed.
plain plain woods
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
    Sonday, Nay 20th to Moonsday, Nay 21st:
Sir Gerald the Honest rides to the west confidently through the plains of Central Kakayglun.

Sebastian has painted racing stripes on Strikey, & by golly, they make the eagle look like its flying faster!
plain mountains plain plain
farm plain plain woods
plain plain plain plain
    Twosday, Nay 22nd:
Going west, Sir Gerald runs into a bull in a farm in Central Kakayglun.

Sir Gerald's force overwhelms the bull's might, moreover Sir Gerald's quickness is countered by the bull, yet the bull's strategy overcomes Sir Gerald's artifice. Sir Gerald the Honest has been defeated by the bull!
In the melee, Sebastian the Apothecary is injured!


Sebastian's weakness for beautification comes back to haunt him--he was trying to put some rouge on the bull's nose, to "bring out its laugh-lines," and it gored him.

Sir Gerald barely managed to pull Sebastian clear before being kicked in the armored head, himself.
plain plain mountains
woods farm plain
woods plain plain
    Wedday, Nay 23rd:
Sir Gerald the Honest rests in a farm in Central Kakayglun.

One of the locals let us stay in their barn, in exchange for Leonard having Strikey kill all the rats he could find. Nummers!
plain plain mountains
woods farm plain
woods plain plain
    Thorsday, Nay 24th to Friarday, Nay 25th:
Sir Gerald the Honest travels to the west peacefully, from a plain in North Kakayglun to a plain in North-West Kakayglun.
Sebastian the Apothecary dies of his injuries!


We are all saddened today by the passing of Sebastian. When he felt like he wasn't going to make it, he demanded a mirror, and applied his own funerary face-paints, completely covering his bloodless pallor.

We all agreed that he looked so natural, & then he was dead. Zelda is entombing some of her Sad Clowns with him, so they can serve his need for humorous porcelain figurines in the next world.
town woods plain plain
woods plain plain mountains
woods woods farm plain
    Satyrday, Nay 26th:
Voyaging west, Sir Gerald meets a bear in a woods in North-West Kakayglun.

Sir Gerald proves far superior to the bear. Sir Gerald the Honest has decapitated the bear!

Sir Gerald has a grudge against all animal life now. Chalk up one dead bear!
woods town woods
woods woods plain
river woods woods
    Sonday, Nay 27th:
Venturing north, Sir Gerald the Honest meets a brown-haired villager in a town in North-West Kakayglun.

Leonard the Squire talks shop with him. The villager tells Leonard about being a villager.


Note to self: being a villager is very borning.
woods plain woods
woods town woods
woods woods plain
    Moonsday, Nay 28th to Twosday, Nay 29th:
Sir Gerald the Honest ventures to the north eventlessly, from a plain in North-West Kakayglun to a mountains in North-West Kakayglun.

We were on the look-out for any further mountain lionous attacks...but what we found was Love. To be more precise, Strikey met a lady-eagle, and they've set off to build a nest. Awww....
woods river woods
woods mountains woods
woods plain woods
woods town woods
    Wedday, Nay 30th:
Sir Gerald the Honest reaches the river of North-West Kakayglun and finds a hateful thug.

Sir Gerald far outclasses the thug. Sir Gerald the Honest has slain the thug!


Um, we went all this way just to whack a river-thug?

Sir Gerald is honestly disgusted.
woods river woods
woods mountains woods

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