King Dwain's Wandering Kinghts: Bard's Tales
Sir Kenneth the Clever Assistants
Isaac the Squire
Arthur the Trainer
Support Staff
Janet the Apothecary
Lefticus the Bard
Might:average
Skill:good
Cunning:good
Bravery:guarded
Unknown Knight
Entire Journey
DAYSMAP
    Wedday, Marsh 6th:
While Sir Kenneth the Clever travels in West Hanlen, he meets a clean villager in a town. She tells Sir Kenneth the story that an evil monstrosity kills travelers around the plain of South-East Hanlen, 17 days ride away.

Sir Kenneth the Clever swears to defeat this deplorable monster.

Arthur suggests Sir Kenneth go by "Sir Kenneth the Klever!", for added hilarity. Janet thinks this a foolish notion, but Isaac is undecided.
plain plain plain
plain town farm
swamp plain plain
    Thorsday, Marsh 7th:
Sir Kenneth the Clever ventures to the east without incident through a farm in Central Hanlen

No clean villagers in this farm! For some reason, working around animals & dirt all day precludes cleanliness.
plain plain plain
town farm plain
plain plain plain
    Friarday, Marsh 8th:
Riding south, Sir Kenneth meets a thug in a plain in Central Hanlen.

The thug's vigor overcomes Sir Kenneth, but Sir Kenneth's speed outdoes the thug, and Sir Kenneth's experience is superior to the thug. Sir Kenneth the Clever has slain the thug!
In the melee, Arthur the Trainer is injured!


Janet is trying to tend to Arthur's injuries, but Arthur isn't helping by constantly suggesting "punched up" names for her various herbs & remedies.
town farm plain
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
    Satyrday, Marsh 9th:
Trekking south, Sir Kenneth the Clever comes upon a pretty peasant in a farm in Central Hanlen.

Isaac the Squire jokes with her. The peasant guffaws loudly.


Isaac certainly is quick with jokes about farmer's daughters. Given our current location & company, Sir Kenneth believes this is not Klever.
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
plain woods plain
    Sonday, Marsh 10th:
Sir Kenneth the Clever travels to the south eventlessly through a woods in Central Hanlen

Arthur suggests "spruce trees" should go by "sprucienda del tree-o." He is clearly delirious.
plain farm plain
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
    Moonsday, Marsh 11th:
Trekking south, Sir Kenneth comes upon a bandit in a plain in South Hanlen.

The bandit's strength is too great for Sir Kenneth, in contrast Sir Kenneth's nimbleness overwhelms the bandit, and Sir Kenneth's craftiness is superior to the bandit. Sir Kenneth the Clever has slain the bandit!
In the melee, Isaac the Squire is injured!


We suspect that this might be a relative of that farmer's daughter Isaac wooed back in the last farm we passed through, mainly because he ran up & knifed Isaac in the back before Sir Kenneth could out-klever him.
plain woods plain
plain plain plain
plain river plain
    Twosday, Marsh 12th:
Sir Kenneth the Clever ventures to the east confidently through a plain in South Hanlen

Janet spends much of the day tending Arthur & Isaac's bandages. Sir Kenneth forges ahead. Thank god for my yo-yo, or this would be the worst trip EVER!
woods plain river
plain plain plain
river plain farm
    Wedday, Marsh 13th:
Going east, Sir Kenneth confronts a bandit in a plain in South Hanlen.

The bandit's hardiness outdoes Sir Kenneth; nevertheless Sir Kenneth's skill overcomes the bandit; and Sir Kenneth's resourcefulness is too great for the bandit. Sir Kenneth the Clever has slain the bandit!
Arthur the Trainer feels better!


As we approach another farm, word seems to have spread about Isaac's unwanted attentions. A feudal levy of bandit came out to beat up on us. Unfortunately for them, Sir Kenneth is one resourceful fellow.

As is Janet; Arthur is back on his feet again. Or, "feetamundo," as he would have it.
plain river plain
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
    Thorsday, Marsh 14th to Satyrday, Marsh 16th:
Sir Kenneth the Clever travels to the south peacefully through the plains of South Hanlen.
Isaac the Squire feels better!


We bypassed the farm, and Isaac feels better for it.
river plain plain
plain plain town
farm plain plain
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
    Sonday, Marsh 17th:
Going south, Sir Kenneth the Clever meets a young cleric in a farm in South Hanlen.

Arthur the Trainer boasts to him. The cleric gasps.


Arthur's suggestions on ways to increase the selling power of The Holy Word of God did not go over well with the local clergy. We made haste out of town.
plain plain plain
plain farm plain
plain farm plain
    Moonsday, Marsh 18th:
Venturing south, Sir Kenneth the Clever encounters a brunette peasant in a farm in South Hanlen.

Janet the Apothecary boasts to her. The peasant is stunned.


Janet is getting some well-deserved respect for her stories of nursing Isaac and Arthur, our knuckleheaded squire & trainer, back from the respective brinks of death.
plain farm plain
plain farm plain
    Twosday, Marsh 19th:
Sir Kenneth the Clever journeys to the east confidently through a plain in South Hanlen

Arthur thinks South Hanlen needs more "pep," and should adopt some sort of mascot.
farm plain mountains
farm plain plain
    Wedday, Marsh 20th:
Traveling east, Sir Kenneth meets a thug in a plain in South-East Hanlen.

Sir Kenneth scoffs at the thug. Sir Kenneth the Clever has decapitated the thug!

"South-East Hanlen: the Thug Capital of Hanlen! Since 1312." Arthur's brainstorming session was interrupted by a judicious beating by Isaac.
plain mountains woods
plain plain mountains
    Thorsday, Marsh 21st:
Trekking east, Sir Kenneth meets a lion in a mountains in South-East Hanlen. Sir Kenneth the Clever retreats from it!
In the melee, Janet the Apothecary is injured!


Uh-oh. With Janet being mauled by the lion (which Sir Kenneth kleverly ran away from at top speed), who will nurse her back to health?

The only thing going for her is that Arthur has been sulking and not doing PR since Isaac smacked him upside the head yesterday.
mountains woods mountains
plain mountains plain
    Friarday, Marsh 22nd:
Sir Kenneth the Clever ventures to the east quickly through a plain in South-East Hanlen

Isaac & Arthur are having humorous mis-adventures trying to find Janet's healing unguents amongst her saddle-packs.
woods mountains woods
mountains plain plain
    Satyrday, Marsh 23rd:
Sir Kenneth the Clever reaches the plain of South-East Hanlen and finds a pernicious lion. Sir Kenneth the Clever turns tail from it!
Janet the Apothecary dies of her injuries!


The sight of the second lion was enough to shock Janet to death. Isaac & Arthur feel great shame at their inability to doctor the person that tended to them in their hour of need.

Or, "hour of need-o-rama."
mountains woods plain
plain plain mountains

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