Weird Happenings & Bizarre Occurances from Real Life
On to Obscurenobilia Part II
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(the number turned out to be a wrong number from some phone company thing. However, it gave me the creeps to be addressed so familiarly by some woman I thought for a moment I had known & had completely forgotten...was one of the catalysts for this page's creation...)
Hmm. Not to sure about this one. --Ed.
This frankly scares the hell out of me: a Belgian music teacher named Hoogenboom, molecularly pure water, Mr. Virgin, airliner windshields potentially being pelted by angels...that's what life's all about. -Ed.
The point of this screed. I actually know the ****er who created Tripeman. I actually know the people who graciously host this website. Yes, I'm God, so are you. So's my cat, Seamus, who sits next to me purring in a vaguely contented, yet confused, manner. Lick Lick, sniff sniff (I smell of bar after all, and I don't smoke (thus the confusion). Tat tvam asi, dip****. Cope.
I may be lying, I might not. Those that know, know. Those that don't can see
leader of the freeworld
*-s courtesy of editor, keeping the site clean since my parents have been readin' it :)
On the way back I took a look at the course. He managed to manuever between trees and lightposts, and then back onto the road. The really strange thing is that he hadn't missed a turn or anything, he just drove off the street, veered onto the lawns, and then continued at about 50 mph until the opportunity to go back onto the street presented itself. He was either very drunk (in which case he'd have to be awfully lucky to avoid all those hazards) or a lunatic.
Little Red Riding Cape
The Mighty Guffypup
princess tiara of the elk people
princess tiara of the elk people
One time the cd skipped at "take it back" then "let it go" a shortwhile later...guess you had to be there...
Printed on a bottle of cd optical lens cleaner from the manufacturer SONY. "....Please do not taste,even it is of no danger to attach to child's hand." word for word literal Japanese translation to English.....I presume.....I have tasted it and it has not 'dangered me"
Myself and my good friend Gordo decided to place an ad in our local/national buy and sell journal along these lines...
Upon arriving at the parking lot of the tire store to pick up my car, a young man walks up to me and asks me how I was doing. Figuring him to be an employee of the shop, probably paid extra to be friendly to potential customers, I respond politely and continue to walk towards the entrance to the store, eager to be away with my newly treaded vehicle. However, the nameless young man pursues, inquiring as to my tendencies towards the consumption of meat. The conversation goes something like this:
Young man: "Do you like steak?"
Me: "sure." (I stop and stare, wondering where this conversation could possibly go. Was he trying to pick me up?)
Young man: "That's great! 'Cause I've got some amazing deals on cuts of meat. Porterhouse, Rib-eye, Filet Mignon man! How can you possibly pass this up?"
I look around. I realize he had disembarked from an unmarked white van which could potentially contain a small freezer. I begin to realize what this is about.
Me: "Sorry, I'm moving tomorrow."
Young man: "oh, so that's how it is? Ok then." I scurry towards the store, pleased to have dodged the possibility of being forced to purchase large chunks of questionable meat products.
I walk into the store. Young man follows me in, looks around, seems confused, then wanders off. I never see him again.
every monday at 12 o' clock in the afternoon, my phone would ring, when I picked up the phone, my computer would beep like it was turning off. Then I would speak into the phone and no one would answer. There would be odd computer noises in the backround like it was a cell phone from a long way away. Then, I would hang up the phone and it would immediately ring and when i picked it up, a computerized version of my voice would repeate everything that I said to it before... this happened for 5 weeks in a row.
I was watching the sky one night a few years ago. I focused on a star for a second. Then it moved in a perfectly straight line across the sky behind my house and over the horizon. It cleared the sky in about 5 seconds. That's damned fast. I'm thinking UFO
Today I went with a friend to a (somewhat) nearby mall for the amusement value of wandering through stores pretending to be hip. As we walked down the promenade we discovered a Victoria's Secret store with a large wooden partition completely blocking the entrance and the glass windows on either side. It was, therefore, impossible to see inside. In front of the wooden partition stood a stern-faced woman in a pert red skirt/jacket ensemble looking officious and glaring at passers-by. If anyone approached she'd gesture a "move-along" wave with her hands, as if she didn't want anyone coming too close.
On the way home from work, I have a very short drive that includes part of a highway with the speed limit of 65mph. I usually exit this highway at 80mph and coast to a stop when I get to my street. One night, however, a racoon decided to interrupt me in the middle of my coasting and I had to SLAM on the brakes. The racoon didn't move. I managed to stop INCHES before hitting it. Did it run? Did it stay frozen?
No...it danced in front of my car racoon-style (hopping around the front of my car for several seconds before sauntering away.) It didn't seem phased at all...maybe it was drunk or high...
In my youth I lived in a land far away that had too many o's in it's name. I
killed trees for a living and i made pipes for the smoking of the herb out of
their remains. One summer day i picked up a hitch hiker who knew a friend of
mine and of my pipes. I showed him a few that i had with me and he asked to buy
one saying that he would be at our mutual friend's house next week with the
money. I'm sure you know how that came out.
The following spring i saw Mike, the mutual friend, in his dooryard and he said that he had something that he thought was mine wait a minuit. He came out of his house with the aforementioned pipe saying that he found it floating in his basement wash tub two days ago. He hadn't seen the other guy for months and the pipe hadn't been in the tub when he used it last. For that matter he didn't even know why it was full of water.
Several years later, same state, still making pipes, one particularly fine example of which i manage to sell to big city head shop for $80. Skip ahead 8 months. My girl friend and i were walking by the shop and and see that it's going out of business. When i go in i see that veryfine pipe on sale for $24 so i bought it. I now have a pipe that generated nearly $60 for me out of thin air.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it
Stude (added 3/7/02)
I was in a hotel in Chalhuanco Peru, between Abancay and Nazca and went to the bathroom. It was a squatter, just a hole in the floor. In the upper right hand corrner of the room was a hole in the cement celling about 7cm wide. Through this hole a cats face was sticking as I entered. The thing watched as I pissed and never moved. I left kind of freeked out by the surreality of it. Later when I used the same bathroom there was no cat.
Moneyshot. (added 3/7/02)
One time at band camp.......
My friend and I were driving across Highway 51 in Arazona, the longest, lonelyest highway in america. We had just spent the night at some camping spot on the edge of the California border and as we were driving into the desert I noticed that one of the white road guides off the shoulder was wiggleing like krazy! Now I'm not talkin' flapin in the wind im talkin' like trying to burry itself into the ground possessed! There was no wind, and all the other road guides were standing still. Durning our drive we saw no other cars pass us untill we stoped at this town, and driving at 80+MPH, we did not make it to the other side of the state. Do the math, 80 MPH for 15 hours of driving. We had to camp near the border. There was something deffinitly not right about that day.....
Belive it or not.
Yours truly, the HighFizgig (added 3/8/02)
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